Grief That is Everlasting

Love is Made
Pregnancy Test Taken
Positive Results
Announcements Made
Congratulations Received
Sonograms Had
Pokes & Sticks
Excitement Setting In
Due Date is Set
Gender Revealed
Name Picked Out
Nursery Painted
Bed Put Together
Baby Shower Invites
Friends to Celebrate
Gifts Opened
Oo's & Ah's
One Last Final Checkup
No Heartbeat
Tears Begin to Fall
News Begins to Spread
Delivery of a Still Soul
Funeral Plans Made
Laying Baby to Rest
Balloons Taking Flight
Sadness Sets In
A Life Has Ended
The World Keeps Turning
Grief That is Everlasting

                                           In Memory of LBS 7/02/2013




"He will swallow up death forever. The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces." Isaiah 25:8

5th Angelversary Celebration

 Angel of My Tears
How do you love a person who never go to be, 
or try to envision a face you never got to see?
How do you mourn the death of one who never got to live,
When there's nothing to feel good about and nothing to forgive?
I love you, my little baby, my companion of the night.
Wandering through my lonely hours beautiful and bright.
What does it mean to die before you were ever born, 
to live the lovely night of life and never see the dawn?
Ah! My little baby, you lived like anyone!
Life's a burst of joy and pain.
And then like yours, it's done.
I love you, my little baby, just as if you'd lived for years.
No more, no less, I think of you,
the Angel of My Tears.
~Author Unknown

It was slightly chilly, but not too bad. We did not get to do balloons this year because everyone is out of helium. We liked the sparklers though and glad we decided to them!
Papa was sick, so he did not get to attend and Makaila is missing in the pictures because she was more involved with the dogs that our cousins brought..lol

 Our night was wonderful. We lit sparklers and let our light shine...

 Uncle Bo lighting his fires...

 Grandma Becky letting her light shine... 

  Cousin Jessica joined us along with Baby Ezra...

 

 Big sister letting her light shine...

 

 It looks like cousin DJ is letting his face burn, but he didn't...lol...  

   Granny's light was shining...

Your Baby brother letting his light shine...

We ended our gathering with this precious poem...

Precious Little One
I'm just a precious little one who didn't make it there.
I went straight to be with Jesus, but I'm waiting for you here.
Many dwelling here where I live, waited years to enter in.
Struggled through a world of sorrow, a world marred with pain and sin. 
Thank you for the life you gave me, it was brief but don't complain.
I have all Heaven's Glory, suffered none of earth's great pain.
Thank you for the name you gave me.
I'd have loved to bring it fame.
But if I'd lingered in earth's shadows, I would have suffered just the same.
So sweet family-don't you sorrow.
Wipe those tears and chase the gloom.
I went straight Jesus' arms, from my loving Mother's womb.
~Author Unknown

My Shoes

I wear a pair of shoes
They are ugly shoes
Uncomfortable shoes
I hate my shoes
Each day I wear them and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step
Yet, I continue to wear them
I get funny looks wearing these shoes
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs
They never talk about my shoes
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt
No woman deserves to wear these shoes
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
~Unknown Author

Unconditional Love

The love a mother has for her children,
The love a father has for his children,
The love our Father has for us, His children
This is called Unconditional Love!

I love that the Lord loves us!
I love that the Lord blessed my husband & I with the children we have!
I love the child the Lord blessed my husband & I that grows in our heart!
This is called Unconditional Love!

What a love this is!


"Let us love one another, for love comes from God.
Everyone who loves has been born of God & knows God.
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." 1John 4:7-8

Grief is...

All engulfing
Managing
The price we pay
Healing
Good for us
More than emotion
Common
Sharing
A natural reaction
Long
Learning to live without
Heart-rending
Inevitable
Work
Part of Life
A unique challenge
Like a river
A journey
The agony
Cruel
No longer forbidden
Normal
Like a tsunami

Death is...

Milliseconds away
Not an option
Personal
An illusion
Sleep
Not dying
A mystery
Sought
Not glamorous
Real
Different
Silent
Not the end
Just the beginning
In store
Not dull
A familiar tragedy
Inevitable
Oddly life enhancing
Not the same
The road to awe

My Indian Giver

I was given a dream, a future that started planning in my mind.
I was given a miracle, a bundle of love I was supposed to have for the rest of my time.
I was given these thoughts of security and peace.
I was given the sense to feel, kicks and flutters of your tiny feet.
I was given my heart, another beat under my own.
You, my little boy, were supposed to be mine to love have and hold.
As I waited for you I got your room ready.
I picked your name and started planning.
I was getting anxious for you, waiting for your cries.
I wanted your little finger wrapped around mine.
I wanted to take the weight from my belly and have it put in my arms.
I wanted to nurse you and make you so strong.
The day I woke up and couldn't feel you move, I knew something wasn't right.
I went to get your daddy and we drove as fast as we could with nothing but you in our minds.
Thinking that when we got there we would her your heart pound,
but when we got there we heard nothing, not a flinch, not a sound.
When we saw you on the screen as still as could be,
It tore out my core out and that was when I lost me.
I could feel a piece of you leave as I screamed for someone to help.
You left me in that scream and to my knees I fell.
You were created with so much love, I thought that it was enough to make Him let you stay.
I keep replaying what I did wrong and how I could have changed that day.
I would have given my life for you, if I knew you were leaving me, if I had the chance.
I would have taken your place if only He would have asked.
I don't want to be without you and somehow I am labeled a survivor.
Hopefully God you will forgive me for calling you my Indian Giver.

Written by Nichole Cavote

Life is....

Never Guaranteed
A Blessing
Fun
Beautiful
A Highway
God Given
Big
Living
Nuts
Poetry
An Art
Good
A Dream
Not Read Only
A War
Wonderful
Colorful
A Feast
A Story
Like A Box Of Chocolates
Noise
A Zoo
Unfair
A Cartoon
Hard
What You Make It
Sweet
Short
A Ball
Eternal, if you believe Jesus Christ as your Savior! (John 3:16)

The Month of October...

Not only is October Breast Cancer Awareness Month, it is also Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month. In our area they do not make a big deal about PIL as they do Breast Cancer & that makes me want to do something about it. Unfortunately we have not been able to attend any of the Group Grief Sessions as my part-time work schedule is not as flexible as I had hoped, but I plan to get with them to see how or what we can do to promote more.

October 15th is the designated day to remember our babies. Please light a candle starting at 7pm & let it burn for one hour. If we all do this it will produce a continuous wave of light.

We have a few other things planned this month as well, as this month was the month God gave us our little angel. To recap a little: October 17, 2007 was the day we got the most devastating news any parent dreads hearing & we delivered our special angel on October 18, 2007. This year the girls & I are going to donate our hair to the Locks of Love in memory of Nehemiah. We are not too sure what we will be doing on Sunday the 18th, but the four of us will be making it all about Nehemiah. I plan to send a little something in the mail to each person in my family to have as a reminder of this special baby who they never got to meet.



*Somebody

Somebody said
it was all for the best,
that something was probably wrong.

Somebody said
it was meant to be,
Different verse,
same miserable song.

Somebody said,
"You can have another!"
As if that would make it alright.

Somebody said
"It was not a real child."
Somebody's not very bright.

Somebody thinks it is helpful
To say when grieving should end.
Somebody shows their true colors.
Somebody isn't a friend.

But somebody said, "I'm sorry."
And sat quietly by my side.
And somebody shared my sorrow
And held my hand when I cried.

And somebody always listened
And called my lost baby by name.
And somebody understood
That I'd never again be the same.
~Author Unknown

A Poem to Share.....

I'll Be There

Daddy, please don't look so sad, Mama please don't cry.
Cause I am in the arms of Jesus and He sings me lullabies.
Please, try not to question God, Don't think He is unkind.
Don't think He sent me to you, and then He changed his mind.

You see, I am a special child, and I'm needed up above.
I'm the special gift you gave Him, the product of your love.
I'll always be there with you and watch the sky at night,
Find the brightest star that's gleaming,
That's my halo's brilliant light.

You'll see me in the morning frost,that mists your window pane.
That's me in the summer showers, I'll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a little breeze, from a gentle wind that blows,
That's me, I'll be there, planting a kiss on your nose.
When you see a child playing, and your heart feels a little tug,
That's me, I'll be there, giving your heart a hug.
So Daddy, please don't look so sad, Mama don't you cry.
I'm in the arms of Jesus and He sings me lullabies.

Author~Claudette T. Allen

The Serenity Prayer.......

I know we all need to be reminded of this at times.........

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

-Reinhold Niebuhr

Trust in the Lord with all your heart & lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, & He will direct your paths. Proverbs 3, 5-6

HoPe Is...

a waking
the thing with feathers
built
not a strategy
gone
not a plan
a choice
never lost
a good thing
a tall order
in the mechanism
spirituality
life foundation
more than wishful thinking
not for wimps
black
on the horizon
gold standard
a jewel
a stranger
alive
victory
uplifting

A Poem I Found & Fell in Love With

Message to Mommy

Mommy, Please don't be so sad,
I miss you so much too.
It's beautiful here where I am
But I worry a lot about you.
I sleep with angels watching me,
There's only love up here...
I'm never lonely or afraid,
Cause God's so very near.
I walk with Jesus every day
He's very kind and loving.
Don't worry mom: He holds my hand, When we cross a golden street.
I never cry or hurt myself
I see Grandpa everyday...
I play and laugh and sing a lot
And I hear you when you pray.
Please mommy, don't be mad at God
You see, He loves me, too.
And even though you're not with me
I'm really still with you.

Compassion is......

ChOicE!
BreAtHtaKinG!
UnivErSAl VaLue!
OutsHinEd bY IgNOranCe!
PoWEr!
foR thE BiRds!
TraNsfOrminG OuR WoRld!
in OuR LivES!
tHe BAsiS oF MOralIty!
LOvE!
TeNdErnEss!
thE KEy For BEttEring LivEs!
CEntRal to All REligiOns!
BeGan LiFE!
aN InSidE JoB!
Not AbOuT BecOmiNg FamOUs!
GoOd!
GenErOsiTy!
thE WaY!
tHe ExPRresSiOn oF PrActiCe ThrOUgh SeRVicE iN thE WoRld!
MorE ThaN FliNgiNg a CoIN to A BEggAr!

The World Is.....

.Flat!
..Not Enough!
...Yours!
....My Canvas!
.....Round!
......Curved!
.......Frozen!
........Rocky!
..........Mine!
..........Watching!
...........Changing!
..........Coming!
.........Your Video Game!
........Dangerous!
.......Creative!
......Ours!
.....Calling!
....Moving!
...Held Together by Duct Tape!
..Your Studio!
.Ready!

Jesus Is....

The Only WaY tO Heaven!
CoMinG!
Way CoOl!
My FRieNd!
ReAdy!
LoVE! The SoN Of GOD!
LoRD!
MaGic!
HoPe For TomORroW!
Not a RelIgioN!
thE GiFT!
My HomEbOy!
WoNDerfUL!
The LiGht of the WoRld!
AlivE!
WeEpinG!
a SoUL Man!
The CurE!
WorShipPed!
LiviNG!
The MesSiaH!
The WaY!
On OuR SidE!
HapPineSs! BoRn ArT!
LoRD of My LifE!
BetteR Than SanTa!
Not a BrAnD!
ThE ReaSOn foR EveRy SeasOn!

A New Year Can Bring.....

.a Bang!
..Us Misery!
...Hope!
....Challenges!
....Good Fortune!
......True Happiness!
......a Plan to Curb Violence!
........Joy!
.........a New Exercise Routine!
..........Prosperity!
...........Stability!............a New Love!
.............Clarity!............Job!
...........You!
..........Less Wrinkles!
.........You Luck!
........Dinner!
.......a Promotion!
......Health!
.....Resolutions!
....Major Change!
...a Day of Peace!
..a Bright End to a Dark Year!
.Families Together!

John 14:27

Peace I leave you, My peace I give you, I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled & do not be afraid.

Psalm 23:1-6

A Psalm of David

1 The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

A sMiLe Is....

.A Frown Turned Upside Down!
..Contagious!
...Worth a Thousand Words!
....The Key to Success!
.....A Curve That Straightens Most Things!
......Worth a Million Bucks!
.......The Same in All Languages!
.........A Hello!
..........Catching!
..........As Big as The Moon!
.........So Simple!
........Kindness!
.......Charity!
......Bittersweet!
.....For a Moment!
....Pleasure!
...Remembered Forever!
..A Card to Pass On!
.A Light in The Window, That Lets People Know You Are Home!