Capture Your Grief Day 31 - Sunset

Sunset - the ending of the day the Lord has blessed us with.

Capture Your Grief Day 30 - Growth

Growth - I believe in a higher power ~God~ and the promises He has made. With that I know I will see my baby again in heaven.
I am growing everyday.

Capture Your Grief Day 29 - Healing

                                          This picture is from a few years ago.

Healing - My husband has been my rock. He lets me cry, talk, yell etc. He is the only one who knows exactly what I am going through & has helped my healing. There is my rainbow baby, Crispin, has been a ray of sunshine after the storm. I'm not completely healed & never will be, but the days are not as dark as before.

Capture Your Grief Day 28 - Special Place

Special Place - We did not choose to bury our baby, the hospital was supposed to do an autopsy & the ball was dropped and we have never asked what they did with his sweet body. 

So, my special place I go to is here. In my memory box & blanket given to me at the hospital, the scrapbook I made & a bear my friend had made for me.

Capture Your Grief Day 27 - Signs

Signs - When I am feeling sad or missing my little angel, I find these white furry feathers or I have had butterflies land in front of me & stay for a few moments. Sometimes I get a smell in my nose that reminds me of how it smelled when I had him & I know he is right beside me.

Capture Your Grief Day 26 - Community

 Community - To me Community is Family & Close Friends. I have always love the movie Lilo & Stitch & the Ohana saying. My family is rather large, so I picked this picture for today. 

Capture Your Grief Day 25 - Say it Out Loud

Say It Out Loud - I have four children! I get uncomfortable telling people I have 4 because then it sometimes turns into a lot of questions and sad looks. Sometimes I feel more uncomfortable for the person asking.

Captute Your Grief Day 24 - Artwork

 

Artwork - My art work is deisigning our Team shirts every year. I wish this picture was s bit clearer. The 2009 photo were his actual sized footprints walking in the shirt, the 2010 are his hands together like he is praying, 2011 was angel wings & his name, 2012 was the "Angel in the Book of Life" poem in the shape of the March of Dimes symbol & 2013 we did a baseball theme. My dad & I wor red shorts & baseball socks to run our 1st 5k in. 

Capture Your Grief Day 23 - Tattoo or Jewellery

Tattoo and Jewellery - I received this necklace from my husband & girls for my birthday after my loss and I never take it off. It says "My Guardian Angel Protect Me". I want to get a tattoo one day when I find the perfect one.

Capture Your Grief Day 22 - Words

Words - I had decided to name my son Nehemiah after the man in the bible. I had never paid attention to the verse in the picture until I had lost my baby. The name Nehemiah also means: comforted by God. Seems so fitting. I love this scripture because I know one day God will wipe away every tear and make all things right again. I faith that I will see my precious baby at that time.

Capture Your Grief Day 21 - Honour

Honour - I honour my son with a blog that I write on. We also walk as a Family Team every year for the March of Dimes and I make hats to donate to our two NICUs on his angelversary. It is the way I get my precious baby's name out there for everyone to get to know him.

Capture Your Grief Day 20 - Hope

Hope - I hope that one day no parent has to lose a baby during pregnancy and that all babies are born healthy at at least 39weeks and that no more babies die of SIDS. No parent should ever have to bury their dreams & hopes.



 

Capture Your Grief Day 19 - Support

We have too many to put in one picture so I simplified it.

They know who they are though.

They have join our Family Team each year, they help us raise money & sale chocolates, they let us cry on their shoulder....more importantly, they speak his name - Nehemiah.

I love you all and we would be insane without all of you.

Capture Your Grief Day 18 - Release

Release - My release comes on the day we celebrate our sweet angel, October 18th. Every year we release balloons with messages, but last year our area was out of helium and we lit sparklers instead. This year my mom got a helium tank so we did both. Here is our balloons being released this evening.

I caught this screenshot here.....notice the date & time?

Capture Your Grief Day 17 - Time

Time - 6yrs ago today we went in for a routine 20week checkup. We were expecting to set up an ultrasound to find out the gender of our baby. We were not expecting to be unable to find a heartbeat on the doppler, to sit in a waiting room for 2hrs waiting for a sonographer to get us in, to see our lifeless baby on a black & white monitor, to have our Dr come in to tell us we the baby may have passed 1 1/2weeks before, that I would need to deliver within the next few days. But those are all the things we heard. I will remember this day the rest of my life. 

Capture Your Grief Day 16 - Season

Season - My son was born still 2 weeks before my birthday. Up until last year, I did not want to celebrate my birthday because I thought it was unfair that I got to celebrate something my son never will. I love the holidays though. When I am hurting I love to have family around, so those days were not affected.

Capture Your Grief Day 15 - Wave of Light

Wave of Light - For the last 7 years a sweet woman in our area holds a candle light vigil at our local park. She started this in 2007 after she lost her sweet baby boy. We are very thankful for her generosity to come put every year and let us remember our babies together. She has candles, snacks, balloons and give always. This was our 6th vigil for our sweet Nehemiah. 

Capture Your Grief Day 14 - Family

This is our family of 6.
It consists of Dad, Mom, Big Sisters Andrea & Makaila, our Angel Nehemiah, and our Rainbow Crispin. We are a happy family. We love to have fun & be silly.
We think about our precious angel often and talk about him when we do.
The 18th of this month will be his 6th angelversary.

Capture Your Grief Day 13 - Book

A Silent Love by Adrienne Ryan. This is a beautiful book of other mother's experiences in loss. It was very helpful. I purchased it off of Amazon.com.

Capture Your Grief Day 12 - Article

 This was a blog I read not long after my loss. It is Bring The Rain.

It is a wonderful blog.