Capture Your Grief Day 28 - Special Place

Special Place - We did not choose to bury our baby, the hospital was supposed to do an autopsy & the ball was dropped and we have never asked what they did with his sweet body. 

So, my special place I go to is here. In my memory box & blanket given to me at the hospital, the scrapbook I made & a bear my friend had made for me.

Summer Time

It is summer time, my kids are out of school & enjoying staying up late & getting to sleep in. 

I remember summer break when I was a kid. Staying outside into the dark to play hide-n-seek with the neighbor kids. Sitting on our porch laughing & catching June bugs that flew around us in the porch light. Just getting to be a kid...

Going camping at least once before school started up again & getting to go visit family we hadn't seen since the holidays.

Those were the days...

I hope to make my children's summers memorable. We usually try to take a family vacation or go do something fun before the school year starts. We have cookouts with family or hang out at the park. Or we just hang out at the pool at our apartment. 

Most of our family lives here in the same city, so we do not get to travel too far. My oldest brother & his family lives about 6 hours away & sometimes we get to see them at least once during the summer. 

My kids will never get to know what it is like to pack up at 5:00am into a Buick, with one kid in the back window, one laying across the backseat & one laying in the floorboard on a makeshift bed. Singing silly songs as we go along for the ride. 

Nowadays, riding in the back window is frowned upon...lol

I would love to hear of others' summer time traditions. 

Memory Lane

Isn't it crazy how a little smell, a saying, a touch, et cetera, can trigger a memory?

Sometimes, while having a fantabulous day, I all of a sudden remember back to summers at my grandma's & being in her kitchen. It always smelled like yellow apples & bananas. I love that smell! Or if I get a whiff of a lilac, it sends me back to spring time in our backyard where we had lilac bushes along the fence & beside the house.

Sometimes I am taken back to happy memories. Sometimes I am taken back to sad memories. Sometimes I am taken back to horrible memories. However, I am thankful for each & every memory I have. For one day I may never remember.

Here lately I have been thinking a lot about my precious son Nehemiah. Every October, since he was born, I have had a smell that gets stuck in my nose & does not leave until November is here. It is a smell I have been asked numerous times to explain, but I can't.

This year was different though & it kind of made me sad. I do not know if it is because I have a new baby to tend to & I have the smell of pooh or spit up, but the smell only came to me at certain times of the day. One good thing though, I have been having that scent come & go since September. Like he is telling me hello or letting me know he is here with me.

I like to think when I am feeling the sunshine on my face he is giving me kisses, or when a breeze swishes past me that means he is dancing around me, or when I get goose bumps he is whispering he loves me in my ear. I like finding things too. Pennies, little white feathers, stickers on the bottom of my shoe.

I know this may seem a little weird, but it makes my heart happy to have these things around me.

What memories do you have that are kept alive by your senses?