Showing posts with label thankful. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thankful. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

I Get So Emotional

Those words remind of a song... "I get so emotional, Baby, every time I think of you" ..obviously only that part of the song.

It is hard to imagine this coming October my sweet baby has been gone from my world for 5 years. 

I have been reading a lot of different stories from parents who have lost children. In some of the stories posted, they say that the hardest year for them was the 2nd. Well, for me, I feel like this year is going hard for me. I am not too sure why. Everything in my life is going so good right now. 

God has continued to bless me every single day. I praise Him every morning & let Him know that if today is my last, I am prepared. As well as thank Him for my time & for my life & love that I have given & received. 

It is just in the last few weeks I have been wanting to cry over everything. I have that smell in my nose every so often. As if he is dancing or running in circles around me. I am not sure if my oldest daughter going into high school is making me emotional & then that makes me think of Nehemiah. 

I just cannot help but think that February 2013 my precious baby would have celebrated his 5th birthday & then starting kindergarten the following school year. It does make me tear up & sad. 

I am planning something special here on my blog that will start in a few weeks time. It is something that I have planned just for my precious baby's 5th angelversary & cannot wait to share. I am a little nervous, but I think it will be great.

Well, I am going to go to bed & meet my precious angel in my dreams.   


Sunday, January 01, 2012

Reflections of 2011

I can hardly believe how fast the year flew by! Time truly does not stand still, not for those just having fun & not even for the brokenhearted.

We had a stupendous year & I pray it only gets better. Here is a little reflection of the past year.

Our Perfect "Rainbow" baby was born! (1/12/11)

The girls were over the moon!

Our Sweet Girl turned 8! (3/03/11)

March for Babies was a Success!
Our team raised a little over $500! (4/30/11
)

Easter was a Blast! (4/24/11)

Our Summer Vacation was Awesome! (June 2011)


We have a 3rd grader & an 8th grader! (Aug. 2011)

Nehemiah's Angelversary was
on a Beautiful day! (10/18/11)


Our Beautiful girl turned 14! (10/21/11)
Here w/two of her girlfriends.

Halloween was Frightful! (10/31/11)

Thanksgiving w/my brothers;
so Thankful today! (11/
24/11)

Christmas was Glorious! (12/25/11)Toast to the New Year! (1/01/12)


Now that we are starting a new year, I pray it is just as Perfect, Sweet, Successful, a Blast, Awesome, Beautiful, Frightful, Thankful, Glorious, & worth a Toast for each one of you!


"Seek first God's kingdom & His righteousness, & all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

He is Here & We Are Loving Him!

I know it has already been two weeks, but I thought I should post a little something about our new addition!

Crispin Daniel Reyna is here & we are all loving him. After our disappointment of not getting to have him on the day we picked out (1/11/11), we attempted going in & having him again on 1/12/11 & we were not disappointed!

After prepping me for surgery & listening to his heartbeat on the monitors, it was time to deliver our precious baby. He cried the moment they pulled him out & while they cleaned him up & swaddled him. Our anesthesiologist took our first pictures for us.
He is perfect & we are so thankful to God for blessing our family with him. When he smiles while he sleeps, we have started saying he is playing with Nehemiah. Thank you everyone who prayed with us & for us! God is GoOD all the time!


Thursday, February 19, 2009

My Own Testimony of a God Send!

After losing a child (or any loved one) you always think, what is the lesson here? What could God have brought to us through this hurt & pain for? What is His reason everyone keeps telling us about? I think we have found ours. Well, let me back up a bit. After JD & I lost our son we were devastated. We both grieved differently. Me, outward; him, inward. At first I cried & cried & cried. JD was wonderful & supportive. But soon I felt like I was burdening him with my crying, so I stopped & started keeping a journal. However, his inward struggle was far worse than anyone could see. He started having chest pains & could not sleep. He hurt is back & slept on the couch for about two months. He never told his doctor what we had been through, so his doctor just put him on blood pressure medication & a couple of other meds. I wanted to talk about our loss, he didn't. We started drifting away from each other. On a couple of occasions he would just go off on me & a few hours later act like nothing ever happened. It got to where he would not even remember what he had said to me. One evening he poured syrup on my head (funny now, but not at the time) & after I got into the shower he asked me why I was taking a shower so early for. When it could not get any worse, he told me he wanted out. He could not do it anymore, he had lost his "passion". He did not want to learn the guitar, he did not want to go to church, he did not want to play softball (which is his life) & he did not want to be with me. I was devastated yet again. First I lose my son & now I am going to lose my husband. How does that happen? Long story short, my dad observed a certain day with JD & decided I needed to call his doctor & talk to them about his medication; call his brother & talk to him about possible depression & get him in to see someone. First step, we went to his doctor, after talking with the doctor JD tells him he does not want any antidepressants. What does the doctor do? Put him on "anti-anxiety" medication; a very low dose he tells JD. Next step, to a therapist, who informs JD he is definitely depressed after a series of questions. Then, the doctor tells JD that he is actually on an antidepressant & not anti-anxiety medication. We go see him four times & he helps us along on our journey. We move back in together & decide we need to help other people in the same shape we are in. I had looked into some help earlier with no avail. So, we put our minds together & came up with an idea to start a support group; however, before we could get it started, we get a call from The Hope & Healing Place. I had been there earlier to get counseling without JD & they had some other women who have lost babies & needed support, so would we be interested in coming in & maybe in the future help them out with other couples? WHAT A GOD SEND!?!?! Our first group consisted of JD & myself, along with four other women & our wonderful Group Leader & her assistant. Unfortunately one the women only came to our very first night & we had one who only came two nights. Hopefully, they will come around again. But our first night was so intense. I did not talk at all. I thought I would just talk & talk & talk, but I cried the entire time. & JD, the one who lost his "passion", talked & talked & talked. He was the first one to talk too! He has not gotten all of his passions back, but we are so much closer than ever. Actually, since Nehemiah's first angelversary we have truly began healing properly. October was an intense month for the both of us. There are two other remembrances in October (4th-Walk to Remember & 15th-Candle Light Vigil) & we just did too much last year with it being our first year. Hopefully it will not always be that intense. Anyway, we are hopefully going to start up again. Our Group Leader has informed us that she has three other couples & one dad who is interested in coming. I pray that we are able to reach as many people who need us. Like I said, I could not find anything to meet our needs, but God has brought us all together through our pain to help others in pain.


 

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit. Psalm 34:18

Friday, February 06, 2009

Thankful for My Thorns

After receiving this in an email a week before Thanksgiving 2007, I was inspired to write our Thanksgiving prayer.

Sandra felt as low as the heels of her Birkenstocks as she pushed against a November gust and the florist shop door. Her life had been easy, like spring breeze.

Then in the fourth month of her second pregnancy, a minor automobile accident stole her ease. During this Thanksgiving week she would have delivered a son.

She grieved over her loss. As if that weren't enough, her husband's company threatened a transfer. Then her sister, whose holiday visit she coveted, called saying she could not come. What's worse, Sandra's friend infuriated her by suggesting her grief was a God-given path to maturity that would allow her to empathize with others who suffer. "She has no idea what I'm feeling," thought Sandra. "Thanksgiving? Thankful for what?" she wondered. For a careless driver whose truck was hardly scratched when he rear-ended her? For an airbag that saved her life but took the life of her unborn child?

"Good afternoon, can I help you?" The shop clerk's approach startled her. "I ... I need an arrangement," stammered Sandra. "For Thanksgiving? Do you want beautiful but ordinary, or would you like to challenge the day with a customer favorite I call the 'Thanksgiving Special'?" asked the shop clerk. "I'm convinced that flowers tell stories," she continued. "Are you looking for something that conveys 'gratitude' this Thanksgiving?"

"Not exactly!" Sandra blurted out. "In the last five months, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong."

Sandra regretted her outburst, and was surprised when the shop clerk said, "I have the perfect arrangement for you."

Then the door's small bell rang, and the shop clerk said, "Hi, Barbara ... let me get your order." She politely excused herself and walked toward a small workroom, then quickly reappeared, carrying an arrangement of greenery, bows, and long-stemmed thorny roses. Except the ends of the rose stems were neatly snipped. There were no flowers!

"Want this in a box?" asked the clerk. Sandra watched for the customer's response. Was this a joke? Who would want rose stems with no flowers! She waited for laughter, but neither woman laughed. "Yes, please," Barbara replied with an appreciative smile. "You'd think after three years of getting the special, I wouldn't be so moved by its significance, but I can feel it right here, all over again," she said as she gently tapped her chest.

"Uh," stammered Sandra, "that lady just left with, uh ... she just left with no flowers!"

"Right, said the clerk, "I cut off the flowers. That's the Special. I call it the Thanksgiving Thorns Bouquet."

"Oh, come on, you can't tell me someone is willing to pay for that!" exclaimed Sandra.

"Barbara came into the shop three years ago feeling much like you feel today," explained the clerk. "She thought she had very little to be thankful for. She had lost her father to cancer, the family business was failing, her son was into drugs, and she was facing major surgery."

"That same year I had lost my husband," continued the clerk," and for the first time in my life, had just spent the holidays alone. I had no children, no husband, no family nearby, and too great a debt to allow any travel."

"So what did you do?" asked Sandra.

"I learned to be thankful for thorns," answered the clerk quietly.

"I've always thanked God for good things in life and never to ask Him why those good things happened to me, but when bad stuff hit, did I ever ask! It took time for me to learn that dark times are important. I have always enjoyed the 'flowers' of life, but it took thorns to show me the beauty of God's comfort. You know, the Bible says that God comforts us when we're afflicted, and from His consolation we learn to comfort others."

Sandra sucked in her breath as she thought about the very thing her friend had tried to tell her. "I guess the truth is I don't want comfort. I've lost a baby and I'm angry with God."

Just then someone else walked in the shop. "Hey, Phil!" shouted the clerk to the balding, rotund man. "My wife sent me in to get our usual Thanksgiving arrangement ... twelve thorny, long-stemmed stems!" laughed Phil as the clerk handed him a tissue-wrapped arrangement from the refrigerator.

"Those are for your wife?" asked Sandra incredulously. "Do you mind me asking why she wants something that looks like that?"

No ... I'm glad you asked," Phil replied. "Four years ago my wife and I nearly divorced. After forty years, we were in a real mess, but with the Lord's grace and guidance, we slogged through problem after problem. He rescued our marriage. Jenny here (the clerk) told me she kept a vase of rose stems to remind her of what she learned from 'thorny' times, and that was good enough for me. I took home some of those stems. My wife and I decided to label each one for a specific 'problem' and give thanks for what that problem taught us."

As Phil paid the clerk, he said to Sandra, "I highly recommend the Special!"

"I don't know if I can be thankful for the thorns in my life." Sandra said to the clerk. "It's all too ... fresh."

"Well," the clerk replied carefully, "my experience has shown me that thorns make roses more precious. We treasure God's providential care more during trouble than at any other time. Remember, it was a crown of thorns that Jesus wore so we might know His love. Don't resent the thorns."

Tears rolled down Sandra's cheeks. For the first time since the accident, she loosened her grip on resentment. "I'll take those twelve long-stemmed thorns, please," she managed to choke out.

"I hoped you would," said the clerk gently. "I'll have them ready in a minute."

"Thank you. What do I owe you?"

"Nothing. Nothing but a promise to allow God to heal your heart. The first year's arrangement is always on me."

The clerk smiled and handed a card to Sandra. "I'll attach this card to your arrangement, but maybe you would like to read it first." It read:

"My God, I have never thanked You for my thorns.
I have thanked You a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my thorns.
Teach me the glory of the cross I bear;
Teach me the value of my thorns.
Show me that I have climbed closer to You along the path of pain;
Show me that, through my tears, the colors of Your rainbow look much more brilliant."

Praise Him for your roses, thank Him for your thorns. When the going gets tough, the tough seek the Lord!