Giving it Up to God.....

I have handful of blogs on that I just cannot help but check up on everyday.

It is like God is leading me to certain people to give & get encouraging words.

Some of the blogs I have read, the person's whole life has been completely turned upside down & inside out, but they continue to have trust & love in Christ. I think it is awesome!

I do not recall a time being mad directly at God when I lost my son. I remember being mad at myself or just the fact of not having him here with me. But I can honestly say I have not been mad at God. I am not saying I am perfect for this, because I am not. I admit I have mentioned times that it sucks & it being unfair. I have asked WHY? a thousand times. Was I not good enough, did I do something wrong, am I horrible mom to the ones I have, do I not deserve any more? But I have never cursed God nor turned my back on Him. If anything, this has actually brought me closer to Him. (Amen)

One day I was asking myself, why do we have to be so sad when someone dies? What about death makes us so sad? Why can't we be happy & joyful that they are lying in waiting for our Savior to come get them?

I praise God for giving me my little time I had to share with my son. Even though he was not breathing when he was born, he was surely alive inside my womb! I got to see him on the sonogram screen at 12 weeks moving around so much. It was like watching a fish in water!! I started feeling him move at 15+ weeks. I love those two things the most, besides when I got to see him after he was born.

Those are my memories I will hold on to for now. I know in my heart that one day Jesus is going to come back down to earth & take us all home. Then, I will get to play with my son & be with him for all eternity.

One more thing before I go, I am turning it ALL over to God, right this moment! I have believed my whole life that Jesus is my savior, but I know that I have not completely given it to Him yet. I trust Him & know He is the alpha & omega, the beginning & the end. I will walk in His path & I will let Him lead instead of me trying to lead myself & glorify You always. Jesus take my heart & make it Yours. My will is Your will. Amen

Before I go here is one thing my friend David Ramos twittered about & I wanted to share: "I always had a problem w/ the bumper sticker: Jesus Is My Co-Pilot. -He should be in total control! I dare u to try it. Give him the Wheel!"

Tonight's Prayer

And behold, I am coming quickly & My reward is with Me to give to every one according to his work.
I am the Alpha & the Omega, the Beginning & the End, the First & the Last.
Blessed are those who do His commandments, that they may have the right to the tree of life & may enter through the gates into the city.
Revelation 22:12-14

Dear Heavenly Father:
I come to You this day to thank You for my many blessings. I thank You for my opportunity to live in the land of the free & to be able to worship You & for the troops who help keep it that way.
I pray for these many sick children in the blogs I have been reading lately & pray that their parents continue with their faith in You. I also pray for continued guidance in the parents who have already lost their child. Give them the strength to go another day & know that their child is now free of illness & suffering with You now.
I pray that I am able to come up with the words to inspire & testify to Your truth so they may know You & want to come to You. Not only in a time of need, but in times of good as well.
We forget sometimes that You are the One in control & depend on ourselves too much to let You have control. I pray that anyone who has something they need to let go, that they put it in Your hands. Your hands that bare scars from the nails that held You to the cross when You died for our sins.
You are Almighty & You are the Alpha & Omega!
I love You Lord & only wish to praise You.
In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen