Looking back though & thinking about all of the premonitions of what was about to happen during my short pregnancy, I think I already knew. I just did not know when it was going to take place exactly. I have heard other stories of people knowing it is close to the end for them, I truly believe we sometimes just know.
But here we are, just a week & few days away from being four years without our precious Nehemiah.
Now he is our special guardian angel. Watching us & showing us different things as we go about. We have met some special people we would probably never have met. We have been able to share our story to help others, a story would not have had it not been for our angel.
Saturday, October 15th is the Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day. We meet at a local park & light a candle for our lost little ones. It is overwhelming, but we feel we must do it. Then three days later is our Nehemiah's angelversary.
This is the first angelversary since our new addition to the family. Crispin of course will not understand what is going on. But one day we will be able to explain to it to him & he will know.
At times when Crispin is sitting up he looks up to the ceiling & holds his hands up in the air & smiles real big or when he smiles in his sleep, he has even laughed out loud while he is asleep. JD & I like to think he is playing with his big brother. It is really sweet!I have read different things about babies being angels before God sends them down to be our babies. I know it might be a little silly or there might actually be something to it. As well as I do not believe in reincarnation at all, but if an angel becoming our baby could be true, who really knows if maybe a part of it could be a reincarnation. Like this one particular angel was to be your baby & then God decides to send that angel to someone else instead because He has something greater planned for you. Ok I think I am rambling on now. I am trying to get to a story that I am not sure I have ever told before in a blog; however, I would like to share it anyway.
Last November I attended the 2nd Birthday of an angel baby. While I was sitting at the table a small boy (about 2 or 3) came & sat beside me & his mom sat on my other side. He kept smiling at me & rambling about different things to me. His mom told me that he does not talk to just anyone. I just listened & could not stop staring at him. He was a little chubby fella with short light brown hair, a dimple in his cheek, light brown eyes & light brown skin. I just thought to myself, that is exactly how Nehemiah would look if he were here today. It would have really been something if his name had been Nehemiah, wouldn't it?
I know there are things that just cannot be explained & this is one of them.
I think I am now done with my rambling for the day. Please continue to pray for all the moms & dads all over the world who are having to continue living without their precious children. On October 15th light your candle at 7pm & let it burn for one hour for a continuous wave of light. If you live in the Amarillo area, you are more than welcome to attend the Candle Light Vigil at Medi Park at the playground by the Discovery Center, from 7pm-10pm.
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