Each year we have done something special in memory of our sweet Nehemiah. I am always thinking of ideas to come up, so I thought I would share with you the things we have done.
October 18, 2008:
Our family met at Southlawn Park in the afternoon (go here to see photos). Both my younger & older brother read a verse from the bible, my brother-in-law said a some sweet words, I read a little thank you & then a verse from the bible & JD read a poem (I helped). I had purchased some special stationary paper from the local craft store that we all wrote a special note on & attached it to our balloons. Then we released them into the sky.
October 18, 2009:
JD, my girls & I went to a local park & released balloons & fed the ducks.
My two girls, my dad & myself all had 10 inches cut off of our hair & donated it to the Locks of Love.
I ordered Forget Me Not seeds off the internet & made seed packets. On each seed packet I attached a picture of Nehemiah's hands & placed a paper band around them with a poem.
October 18, 2010:
I asked everyone to please do 3 nice things & then write them down for me to keep. Only a few people did this for me. We donated to the Faith City Mission three items clothes, toys & book.
In the evening we went to a local park & released balloons with messages written on them.
October 18, 2011:
We bought a kit at Wal-mart & knitted hats for our local NICU. Unfortunately we got a late start, so we only donated to the hospital where we delivered our angel. JD named them Nehemiah's Hats. Fitting, don't you think?
Afterwards, we went to a local park & released balloons. It was too windy or we would have fed some ducks.
I am already planning next years event. Hopefully we can do it, until then, my lips are sealed.
Well sweet son, we had quite a day for 4th Angelversary.
After your sisters got out of school we went home & picked up your daddy & baby brother & we headed to the hospital with our Nehemiah's Hats. Daddy picked them in case you did not already know that.
When we got to the registration desk to find out where the nursery was, we were greeted by the charge nurse named Patty. She asked us what we were delivering to the nursery, so I opened the box to show her the tiny hats we had knitted.
Before she took them upstairs to be placed on the little babies' heads, I explained to her about our sweet baby (you) & how we do something every year in honor of your memory. She was so sweet & said she was taking them right away to be distributed.
We left there with our hearts (faces) smiling.
We then went & picked out your birthday balloons. Andrea got an orange star, Makaila got a white star & Crispin got a blue star. Daddy got a Happy Birthday & I got you a sports balloon. It was super windy outside, so we sat inside the van & wrote our messages on your balloons.
I took these pictures of each of our balloons.
One problem, when Makaila got out of the van, the wind ripped her balloon out of her hand. She cried so hard because it got away. So daddy let her hold his. Crispin did not know what to think about all that was going on, so he sat holding your bear.
We miss you sweet angel & love you dearly. We hope you had an awesome birthday in Heaven!
Love,
Mommy, Daddy, Andrea, Makaila & Crispin
This month is flying by, it seems. If you had told me four years ago that I would be celebrating my baby was not going to make it & we would be a part of a select club, I would like to think that I would not have believed you.
Looking back though & thinking about all of the premonitions of what was about to happen during my short pregnancy, I think I already knew. I just did not know when it was going to take place exactly. I have heard other stories of people knowing it is close to the end for them, I truly believe we sometimes just know.
But here we are, just a week & few days away from being four years without our precious Nehemiah.
Now he is our special guardian angel. Watching us & showing us different things as we go about. We have met some special people we would probably never have met. We have been able to share our story to help others, a story would not have had it not been for our angel.
Saturday, October 15th is the Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day. We meet at a local park & light a candle for our lost little ones. It is overwhelming, but we feel we must do it. Then three days later is our Nehemiah's angelversary.
This is the first angelversary since our new addition to the family. Crispin of course will not understand what is going on. But one day we will be able to explain to it to him & he will know.
At times when Crispin is sitting up he looks up to the ceiling & holds his hands up in the air & smiles real big or when he smiles in his sleep, he has even laughed out loud while he is asleep. JD & I like to think he is playing with his big brother. It is really sweet!I have read different things about babies being angels before God sends them down to be our babies. I know it might be a little silly or there might actually be something to it. As well as I do not believe in reincarnation at all, but if an angel becoming our baby could be true, who really knows if maybe a part of it could be a reincarnation. Like this one particular angel was to be your baby & then God decides to send that angel to someone else instead because He has something greater planned for you. Ok I think I am rambling on now. I am trying to get to a story that I am not sure I have ever told before in a blog; however, I would like to share it anyway.
Last November I attended the 2nd Birthday of an angel baby. While I was sitting at the table a small boy (about 2 or 3) came & sat beside me & his mom sat on my other side. He kept smiling at me & rambling about different things to me. His mom told me that he does not talk to just anyone. I just listened & could not stop staring at him. He was a little chubby fella with short light brown hair, a dimple in his cheek, light brown eyes & light brown skin. I just thought to myself, that is exactly how Nehemiah would look if he were here today. It would have really been something if his name had been Nehemiah, wouldn't it?
I know there are things that just cannot be explained & this is one of them.
I think I am now done with my rambling for the day. Please continue to pray for all the moms & dads all over the world who are having to continue living without their precious children. On October 15th light your candle at 7pm & let it burn for one hour for a continuous wave of light. If you live in the Amarillo area, you are more than welcome to attend the Candle Light Vigil at Medi Park at the playground by the Discovery Center, from 7pm-10pm.
I cannot believe in just a few weeks it will be 4 years since you, my precious Nehemiah, was born sleeping. Not a day goes by that I do not think about you. What life would be like right now in this moment with you here with us. In time it has gotten easier, but we have definitely not ever forgotten. Every October I experience a smell that triggers every emotion imaginable, I just wonder if this year will be any different.
Every year we have done something as a family to celebrate your angelversary. This year is no different. I have been making little knitted hats to donate to the NICU at the hospitals. I even have daddy helping me! I was thinking about getting a tattoo next year since I will not be nursing, but let's see if I don't wimp out.
We plan to walk this morning at the Walk to Remember at Memorial Park. I made this little picture for you just for this month.
We love you son & miss you everyday! You will always live in our hearts!
Love,
Mommy, Daddy, Andrea, Makaila & Crispin
I ordered Forget Me Not seeds off the internet & made seed packets. On each seed packet I attached a picture of Nehemiah's hands & placed a paper band around them with a poem.
