What NOT to Say.........

Sometimes finding the words to say to someone after losing a baby seems hard to find & then other times they just spill out of your mouth without warning. I compiled a list of things people actually said to me that hurt more than helped & in the end I have some things you could try saying or doing.

"I know what you are feeling, when my dog died last year......." - Unless you have actually lost a baby, you have no idea what I am feeling.
"At least you already have children" - Thank God for that, but you make it seem like I did not want this one.
"You can have another one" - NO!, I wanted this ONE!
"You know how to get over it? Have another one!" - Umm, NO, it won't take place of this one!
"There was something wrong with the baby" - Oh, now you're psychic?
"It's probably for the best?" - What? For who? I would have been the best mother ever!
"Lucky it was an early loss" - A baby becomes a baby at time of conception. It hurts no matter what trimester you are in.

How about saying:
"Do you need anything?"
"I'm sorry."
"Do you want to talk?"
"I love you!"
"You are in my prayers"
"I'm thinking about you."

Sometimes not saying anything hurts just as bad, but if you do not know what to say a hug will do, really.

& if I do not seem happy that you are pregnant, I really am happy just jealous & you being mad just makes me feel guilty.