So far everything has checked out as planned. We go for our next appointment next Tuesday. We are hoping they schedule us an ultrasound so we can find out what we are having.
I have never found out on my children what we were having beforehand. Just relied on buying things in neutral baby colors & a little on mother's intuition.
With Andrea, I wanted a boy so bad, but around 5 or 6 months I started feeling like "he" was going to be a "she". The funny thing about me carrying Andrea was, no one could guess what it was just by the shape of my belly. One day it would be high, the next low, one day a football shape, one day spread out. My mom, who is usually a good guess, could not even tell. Now, my grandma was a different story. When I opened her shower gift she had bought a bunch of dresses from a garage sale. I had asked her what we would do if the baby came out a boy & she just said, "oh, it won't, but if it does we can give those dresses to someone else, but it won't". We had our names picked for both sexes. Nehemiah Christopher if it was a boy & Andrea Denise if was a girl.
With Makaila, I really did not care this time. I was just excited. This time it was different for us in many ways. We were adults now, we were legally married, we had planned to have another baby, we had full-time jobs & we were "experienced". I dreamed about this baby wrapped in a yellow blanket. No one ever said the baby's name & I never knew the gender. When I came out of recovery & saw her for the first time I thought it was dej a vu. She looked just like the baby in my dreams, as well as Andrea did as a newborn. I did not have any kind of intuition. We had to find a girl name anyways just in case. So, we settled on Makaila Jeanine.
When we got pregnant with Nehemiah, we were all the things we were when we planned to have Makaila. From day one I knew this baby was a boy. We had planned to find out on this one. Since this was going to be our last, so we thought "what the hay". Well, that did not go according to plan. But as soon as I delivered, the nurse asked if we had wanted to know the gender. Of course we did & we were told it is a Boy.
Now, this baby...this is a whole other story in & of itself. JD & I had just started talking about getting back together when we conceived this baby. Call it "loss of self control" if you will. Yes, I was on the pill. Yes, I had missed a few, but I had missed a few before & nothing ever came of it. But the day my breasts were so tender I was literally in tears, JD knew. He said they were like that the times before. At first I just laughed & told him he was crazy. I was about to start, well that is what I had thought. So, the next morning, before anyone else got up, I went to the store. I was nervous. I mean, he had just moved in with me & the girls. We were still trying to get everything straightened out to tell our families, we really were not ready for another baby at all! We had already closed the discussion of other children a few months after the loss of Nehemiah.
When I took the test it was like I was 18 again & was going to have to tell our parents. Actually, I had to confirm JD's suspicions. When I told him, he originally was a little upset, but he set me down & told me that maybe this was really God's way of telling him to grow up & get his act together. So, we decided together to wait & tell anyone until we went to the doctor. The number one reason, we were scared out of our minds! What if we told everyone & then we get bad news at our appointment? What if this baby does not make it either?
After a few days though I had to sit JD back down & tell him that I really had good feelings about this pregnancy & that I knew in my heart that everything was going to be just fine with the baby & the two of us. We just have to keep the lines of communication alive & make sure we are not doubting our decision & to not let fear run our lives, marriage, pregnancy, parenting, etc.
So, back to the gender, intuition thingy. I have since day one with this baby felt it is a boy. To be honest though, I really just want a healthy, happy baby. We cannot be picky in life. We take what we are given & we accept the things we cannot change. I will love this baby unconditionally as I do my other babies. I am not giving away my names right now either because a few ladies I know who are pregnant, do not have names & I do not want them to steal.
Now, just to wait & find out when the time comes. Easier said than done!
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