He Gives Beauty for Ashes

While I nurse Crispin, we tend to lock eyes just for a moment. He looks away or closes his eyes to drift off to sleep. At these times I think about how beautiful he is with his big brown eyes, long eye lashes peach fuzz head. I think of how innocent he is & how pure his soul is.Sometimes my thoughts drift on to the son I never got to nurse. I always wonder how Nehemiah would have looked. I have had visions or met children whom I thought had characteristics my baby might have had.

When Nehemiah was born, he was fully formed just really small. His skin was red & he had not grown any hair yet. His skin was smooth & glossy, not the same feel as a newborn. His eyes were closed, but his lips were parted & you could see his tongue. I might seem a little "off my rocker", but when I look at his pictures I see JD in him.

At times when I have been playing with Crispin or nursing him these lyrics have come to mind:
"He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear Gladness for mourning Peace for despair" ~Crystal Lewis

I know that God never gives us more than we can handle & sometimes I feel people come into our lives at different times to teach us something. It may seem unfair when they have to go, but I know that God has a plan for me & I have to have faith in Him & let Him lead me.

My "beauties for ashes" (4days old)

Sharing Something Beautiful

CrisPiN & NehEMiaH's BeAr

BREATHE! RELAX!

Is this year going by rather quickly or is it the maternity leave that I took or just life itself?

In just a few short weeks is the March of Dimes' March for Babies. This time last year I had already raise a couple of hundred bucks, had our t-shirts designed & had recruited walkers. This year, I have not raised anything, I do not have my t-shirt design yet (which I just asked a friend to assist me with) & I only have a few sweet people signed up. I have tons of ideas to raise the money this year, but I just feel rushed & out of time.

So, I am trying to tell myself to relax, just do what you can. My sweet oldest daughter is rounding up girlfriends & their mothers to help us with a bake sale. We are hoping to do it this coming weekend at our local Wal-Mart. Now, just to let everyone know that she has invited when & where. As well as asking a few of my sweet family members to help out.

Typing this out has my heart rate up (lol)! For any of you reading this who feel compelled to make a small, medium or large donation please go here & donate. Anything would be appreciated.

So, here is to BREATHING & RELAXING! There is always the rest of this year & the next to reach my goal.

God Bless You All!

A Little Something to Think About

Today I have been thinking of my children, which I do everyday. What I was thinking about is how blessed I am that the three children I have in my presence are healthy, happy & thriving. That leads me to then think about the child that will never be healthy, happy & thriving in my presence.

JD said he had been listening to the radio & they were playing a St. Jude's clip. He said one child stuck out to him the most, even made him cry & not because of his story, but because he will never get his first kiss, first date, first child, etc. As he told me the young boy's story, it got me to thinking about our son, Nehemiah. How he never got his first kiss from mama, daddy & sisters, his first drop of my milk, his first real bath, etc.

We need to remind ourselves every now & again that what we take for granted in our everyday lives, someone else is missing out on. I am not saying not to live your life or to be miserable because someone else will never be doing the very thing you are doing right now. What I would like for you to do is go the rest of your days being thankful for the things you have done & are doing today in the present. I was raised to believe that if you think you have it bad, there is always some else who has it worse.

We never know how long we have in life. Tomorrow as you drive to work you could be hit by a drunk driver & die. Your infant could go to sleep & never wake up. Your sister could be beaten to death or your brother could get ran over while riding his motorcycle. You could get into a fight with your dad or mom & in the morning they not wake up from their sleep & you will never get to say you are sorry.

We all take life for granted in way or another. Sometimes we never think the worse could happen to us. Or we blame others for our misfortunes & never take a step back to see that we are the problem & we need to fix it before it is too late.

So cherish what you do have, kiss your babies goodnight & say I love you to those in your life. Never forget the ones who have gone on before you or the hardships you have endured in your life, but be thankful for all the good & the bad. Remember everyday to thank Jesus, the Man who bore our cross & thorns so that we may have eternal life.

Life is....

Never Guaranteed
A Blessing
Fun
Beautiful
A Highway
God Given
Big
Living
Nuts
Poetry
An Art
Good
A Dream
Not Read Only
A War
Wonderful
Colorful
A Feast
A Story
Like A Box Of Chocolates
Noise
A Zoo
Unfair
A Cartoon
Hard
What You Make It
Sweet
Short
A Ball
Eternal, if you believe Jesus Christ as your Savior! (John 3:16)