I am scheduled to go in for a c-section on Tuesday morning. Everything is already planned out. Where my girls are staying, what time we have to be at the hospital, what time the surgery starts, how long I will be in recovery before getting settled in my room with our new addition & so on & so forth. One thing sticks in my mind over & over again with what we are preparing to do. That is, is this baby going to stick to our plan?
With the way my last pregnancies have gone I know ANYthing can happen & nothing ever works out the way that they are planned to. I was naive with my 1st pregnancy. Just a mere 18 years old, so I did whatever the doctors & nurses asked me to do. I figured since I had worked up to the week before I went into labor with her & since I was young, that I would not labor long & have a beautiful baby in a few short hours. I labored ALL day, 13 days past my due date, just to end up having to have a c-section. I never dilated past a 3 & she was stuck with her umbilical cord around her neck.
With our 2nd pregnancy we were hoping for a VBAC. Well, this little lady had a mind of her own. I was only 3 days past my due date, she was head down & my water broke at home while we were getting ready for work. Everything was calm at the hospital & I was getting ready for a long day of pushing & laboring, when just a few short minutes after my doctor checked me, my baby went into fetal distress & I was wheeled to the OR & knocked out!
Then with our 3rd pregnancy, I had nightmares & strange feelings throughout the pregnancy & then unfortunately we had to say good-bye to our little man at 20 weeks gestation.
Now with our 4th pregnancy, this has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. Everything has went great so far, but we still have our worries & anxieties. Even knowing I will deliver in a little less than 4 days I am still nervous that something bad may happen. We have discussed this with our doctor & we know we are not guaranteed to have a live birth until the baby actually makes their appearance.
Now I think JD & I have switched roles. He is getting more excited & not as scared as he was in the beginning & I am now the one who is anxious & nervous. I know everything is fine & will work out, I just do not have nerves of steel.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer & petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. & the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts & your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
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