Thankful for My Thorns

After receiving this in an email a week before Thanksgiving 2007, I was inspired to write our Thanksgiving prayer.

Sandra felt as low as the heels of her Birkenstocks as she pushed against a November gust and the florist shop door. Her life had been easy, like spring breeze.

Then in the fourth month of her second pregnancy, a minor automobile accident stole her ease. During this Thanksgiving week she would have delivered a son.

She grieved over her loss. As if that weren't enough, her husband's company threatened a transfer. Then her sister, whose holiday visit she coveted, called saying she could not come. What's worse, Sandra's friend infuriated her by suggesting her grief was a God-given path to maturity that would allow her to empathize with others who suffer. "She has no idea what I'm feeling," thought Sandra. "Thanksgiving? Thankful for what?" she wondered. For a careless driver whose truck was hardly scratched when he rear-ended her? For an airbag that saved her life but took the life of her unborn child?

"Good afternoon, can I help you?" The shop clerk's approach startled her. "I ... I need an arrangement," stammered Sandra. "For Thanksgiving? Do you want beautiful but ordinary, or would you like to challenge the day with a customer favorite I call the 'Thanksgiving Special'?" asked the shop clerk. "I'm convinced that flowers tell stories," she continued. "Are you looking for something that conveys 'gratitude' this Thanksgiving?"

"Not exactly!" Sandra blurted out. "In the last five months, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong."

Sandra regretted her outburst, and was surprised when the shop clerk said, "I have the perfect arrangement for you."

Then the door's small bell rang, and the shop clerk said, "Hi, Barbara ... let me get your order." She politely excused herself and walked toward a small workroom, then quickly reappeared, carrying an arrangement of greenery, bows, and long-stemmed thorny roses. Except the ends of the rose stems were neatly snipped. There were no flowers!

"Want this in a box?" asked the clerk. Sandra watched for the customer's response. Was this a joke? Who would want rose stems with no flowers! She waited for laughter, but neither woman laughed. "Yes, please," Barbara replied with an appreciative smile. "You'd think after three years of getting the special, I wouldn't be so moved by its significance, but I can feel it right here, all over again," she said as she gently tapped her chest.

"Uh," stammered Sandra, "that lady just left with, uh ... she just left with no flowers!"

"Right, said the clerk, "I cut off the flowers. That's the Special. I call it the Thanksgiving Thorns Bouquet."

"Oh, come on, you can't tell me someone is willing to pay for that!" exclaimed Sandra.

"Barbara came into the shop three years ago feeling much like you feel today," explained the clerk. "She thought she had very little to be thankful for. She had lost her father to cancer, the family business was failing, her son was into drugs, and she was facing major surgery."

"That same year I had lost my husband," continued the clerk," and for the first time in my life, had just spent the holidays alone. I had no children, no husband, no family nearby, and too great a debt to allow any travel."

"So what did you do?" asked Sandra.

"I learned to be thankful for thorns," answered the clerk quietly.

"I've always thanked God for good things in life and never to ask Him why those good things happened to me, but when bad stuff hit, did I ever ask! It took time for me to learn that dark times are important. I have always enjoyed the 'flowers' of life, but it took thorns to show me the beauty of God's comfort. You know, the Bible says that God comforts us when we're afflicted, and from His consolation we learn to comfort others."

Sandra sucked in her breath as she thought about the very thing her friend had tried to tell her. "I guess the truth is I don't want comfort. I've lost a baby and I'm angry with God."

Just then someone else walked in the shop. "Hey, Phil!" shouted the clerk to the balding, rotund man. "My wife sent me in to get our usual Thanksgiving arrangement ... twelve thorny, long-stemmed stems!" laughed Phil as the clerk handed him a tissue-wrapped arrangement from the refrigerator.

"Those are for your wife?" asked Sandra incredulously. "Do you mind me asking why she wants something that looks like that?"

No ... I'm glad you asked," Phil replied. "Four years ago my wife and I nearly divorced. After forty years, we were in a real mess, but with the Lord's grace and guidance, we slogged through problem after problem. He rescued our marriage. Jenny here (the clerk) told me she kept a vase of rose stems to remind her of what she learned from 'thorny' times, and that was good enough for me. I took home some of those stems. My wife and I decided to label each one for a specific 'problem' and give thanks for what that problem taught us."

As Phil paid the clerk, he said to Sandra, "I highly recommend the Special!"

"I don't know if I can be thankful for the thorns in my life." Sandra said to the clerk. "It's all too ... fresh."

"Well," the clerk replied carefully, "my experience has shown me that thorns make roses more precious. We treasure God's providential care more during trouble than at any other time. Remember, it was a crown of thorns that Jesus wore so we might know His love. Don't resent the thorns."

Tears rolled down Sandra's cheeks. For the first time since the accident, she loosened her grip on resentment. "I'll take those twelve long-stemmed thorns, please," she managed to choke out.

"I hoped you would," said the clerk gently. "I'll have them ready in a minute."

"Thank you. What do I owe you?"

"Nothing. Nothing but a promise to allow God to heal your heart. The first year's arrangement is always on me."

The clerk smiled and handed a card to Sandra. "I'll attach this card to your arrangement, but maybe you would like to read it first." It read:

"My God, I have never thanked You for my thorns.
I have thanked You a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my thorns.
Teach me the glory of the cross I bear;
Teach me the value of my thorns.
Show me that I have climbed closer to You along the path of pain;
Show me that, through my tears, the colors of Your rainbow look much more brilliant."

Praise Him for your roses, thank Him for your thorns. When the going gets tough, the tough seek the Lord!

The Healing Power of Laughter

One of the greatest stress relievers God has given us is laughter. It not only makes us feel better, but it actually releases healing throughout our system. When we laugh, it restores and rejuvenates what the pressures of life have taken out.
 

Proverbs 17:22 puts it like this, "A happy heart is like a good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing." Notice, when we're good-natured and full of joy, taking time to laugh and play, it's like taking a good medicine. That's what helps us to stay healthy. People that laugh regularly are 40% less likely to have a heart attack than people that don't laugh regularly. Laughter triggers the right side of the brain, which helps release creativity and helps us to make better decisions.

There is too much sickness in our world today. Much of it is related to sadness. It's directly related to the fact that we don't smile enough. We live uptight and stressed out.

But even during trials and hard times, God says to us, "I've got a solution. In difficulties, cheer up. In famine, laugh. Keep your joy." You can laugh your way to victory, to better health and to more energy.

God knows the end of the story. He knows the final outcome. The good news is you and I win. God always causes us to triumph. We should have a spring in our step, a smile on our face, joy in our hearts and unshakeable faith. God's plan for our lives is for good and He has the answer to our every question. Knowing this, we can laugh at the days ahead!

Child Abuse

It has been a little less than year since we have had a deadly child abuse case.

7 year old William Weschke was killed by blunt force trauma to the head. On February 14, 2008 the 29 year old mother & her 19 year old boyfriend told police he had slipped getting out of the tub. He was on life support for two weeks before being pronounced dead, February 27, 2008. Preliminary autopsy showed blunt force trauma to the head. The mother was jailed in connection & the boyfriend was jailed for injury to a child & murder. The mother also has a 6 year old son who was taken away.

February 3, 2009, 3 year old Miracuelos Fuentes was beaten, starved & neglected by his 26 year old mother & her many boyfriends, killed by the most current 18 year old boyfriend on February 3, 2009. She has 8 children, ages 1-11 & a 9th on the way. There are 4 different father's & 2 are in prison. The 8 children had already been taken away for 1 year & given back to the mother after she completed her council sessions & parenting classes.

I could not fathom beating my children until their little hearts stop beating nor starving them to death & would be damned if I let someone other than their father "discipline" them. The part that gets me the most is these two men are obviously too young to be fathers & the women let them do whatever they pleased with them. These two cases are not uncommon & sometimes it is not the boyfriend or stepfather who do the crime. Look at little Quionna Jones, her own father took her life, April 10, 2007. How sick & disgusting!

God gave us these children to love & protect until they go home to Him. Children are gifts. I know at times I say, "I'm going to beat you!", but this puts things in perspective. I would never dare "beat" my children. Nor would I punish them so severely that it were to leave a mark.

I pray for these families that did not stop the known the abuse & the abuser, because I know that they will be judged by God Almighty & I do not want to be standing there as He does. Or maybe I do. I also pray that the little souls are able to rest in peace & for the children who still live on, for they will have to remember this every day, for the rest of their lives, even after we have forgotten them.

Some Signs of Child Abuse

Emotional
* A child who is apathetic (just doesn't care).
* A child who suffers from depression.
* A child who won't take part in play or school activities.
* A child who is often hostile or aggressive.
* A child with a loss of appetite.
* A child who compulsively overeats

Neglect
* Any of the signs above.
* A child who is hungry much of the time.
* A child wandering outdoors unsupervised.
* A child unsuitably dressed for the weather.
* A child who is continually dirty or wearing the same soiled clothes.
* A child who shows up early or stays late at school.

Physical
* Bruises or welts shaped like an object (belt buckle or electric cord).
* Bruises in unusual places (back, eyes, mouth, buttocks, genital areas, thighs, calves).
* Layers of different colored bruises in the same general area.
* "Sock" or "glove" burns on feet or hands or doughnut shaped burns on buttocks (from forcing the child into hot water).
* Small round burns from cigarettes.
* Burns in the shape of an object (iron, fireplace tool, or heater).
* Rope burns on ankles, wrists, or torso.
* Adult sized bite marks.
* Suspicious fractures (doctors and nurses are trained to recognize these).

Sexual
* Withdrawal or anti-social attitude.
* Refusal to undress for physical education or sports.
* Exaggerated interest in sex or "acting out" sex with other children.
* Unusually seductive behavior.
* Fear of intimate contact (hugging or sports)
* Torn, stained, or bloodied clothing.

10 Things To Do Instead of Hurting a Child
1. Take a deep breath. Take a few more. Remember, you are the adult.
2. Close your eyes and imagine you are hearing what your child is about to hear, or
receiving the same punishment.
3. Press your lips together and count to 20.
4. Put the child in a "time-out" chair for a number of minutes. The rule is one minute for
each year of age.
5. Put yourself in a "time-out" chair. Are you really angry at the child or is it something else.
6. Call a friend to talk about it. If you need to, dial 1-800-4-A-CHILD (National Child Abuse
Hotline).
7. If someone can watch the children, go out for a walk.
8. Take a hot bath or splash cold water on your face.
9. Turn on some music. Sing along if you want.
10. Pick up a pencil and write down a list of helpful words, not words that will hurt. Save
the list. Use these words.

Tonight's Prayer

And behold, I am coming quickly & My reward is with Me to give to every one according to his work.
I am the Alpha & the Omega, the Beginning & the End, the First & the Last.
Blessed are those who do His commandments, that they may have the right to the tree of life & may enter through the gates into the city.
Revelation 22:12-14

Dear Heavenly Father:
I come to You this day to thank You for my many blessings. I thank You for my opportunity to live in the land of the free & to be able to worship You & for the troops who help keep it that way.
I pray for these many sick children in the blogs I have been reading lately & pray that their parents continue with their faith in You. I also pray for continued guidance in the parents who have already lost their child. Give them the strength to go another day & know that their child is now free of illness & suffering with You now.
I pray that I am able to come up with the words to inspire & testify to Your truth so they may know You & want to come to You. Not only in a time of need, but in times of good as well.
We forget sometimes that You are the One in control & depend on ourselves too much to let You have control. I pray that anyone who has something they need to let go, that they put it in Your hands. Your hands that bare scars from the nails that held You to the cross when You died for our sins.
You are Almighty & You are the Alpha & Omega!
I love You Lord & only wish to praise You.
In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen

Just Venting

Sometimes I hear something that has nothing to do with me whatsoever & I get so mad I want to comment. But should I really or mind my own business?

I know a girl who complains about her step-children & having to take care of them. Boo hoo!
"Why does my husband have to go get them when they are sick or misbehaving at school?", "Their mom asked us to help out with a medical bill, she gets child support!"....blah blah blah
Children have no choice who their parents are going to be, but you have a choice to have children. So, maybe you should think about it before becoming a parent or step-parent. If the shoe was on the other foot, you would expect the same help. I am not saying let the ex take advantage, but they need to parent the child the way they would have if they were still together, as much as possible.

Or when the new wife/girlfriend complains about the old wife/girlfriend.
"Can you believe she went out this weekend? She went out the last time we had the kids!". You go out when she has the kids, so what?
"She has a new boyfriend, gaw she moves fast!". Ummm, why do you care, you have her leftovers?

What about ungrateful people? I hear women complain that their moms will not watch their children so they can go party, when their mom's have babysat all day while they went to work. Ummmm, did you forget why you had children?"She has had them all day, so what is a few more hours so I can go to happy hour?". Maybe your mom needs happy hour away from your children.
"My mom expects me to pay her for watching her grandchildren." OK? You would have to pay a daycare.
Or what about people who complain because someone else is gone for the day? I hear it all day long.
"Why is so & so off today, they should be here at work?" When you want a day off, don't you take it?
"They aren't really sick!" Is it coming out of your paycheck?
"They went to the bathroom like 25 minutes ago & still hasn't came back". So what!, maybe they have the squirts. Go see if they need help!

And women who choose to be a stay-at-home mom....if I could stay home to clean & do volunteer work, I would!
"The baby cried all day!", so my baby cried all night & then I still had to get up & go in to work.
"I never can get anything done, I only did 4 surveys on MySpace today!" Wow!, that's 1 more than yesterday.
"I need a pedicure & manicure because bathing the baby has taken a toll on my skin!". Wear rubber gloves & keep your feet out of their bath water. I have carpal tunnel syndrome from typing all day & I still have to go home to make dinner.

So what if someone else is doing something your not. Like I ask my 5 year old, "Do you have a tale, then why are you talking?" I get frustrated with the world & sometimes I want to give everyone a time out.

We have to live, work & see each other ever day until our demise, so we all just need to learn to love each other & well, simply get over it!

Thanks for letting me vent, I do feel better!

LOVE MUCH!!

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. John 13:34

Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another. Romans 12:10

Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. Romans 13:8

And may the Lord make you increase and abound in love to one another and to all, just as we do to you. 1Thessalonians 3:10

Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous. 1Peter 3:8

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 1John 4:7-8

I am Blessed this Day

The sun is shining, no one is sick, the girls are playing together nicely (for now) & JD is still asleep. I would say I am truly blessed! The dog even blessed me this morning w/the trash dumped over in the kitchen & poop @ the backdoor.

I got up this morning to read some blogs & discovered that life is short. We need to get together more often, hold each other a little tighter, love everyone unconditionally, make amends w/our enemies, be patient, hold no grudges, be a friend, laugh when we fall, cry when we feel like crying, sing even if we do not sound good, shake hands w/children, smile at a stranger, say hello to people we meet, dance in the rain, play outside till dark, run until our hearts feel like bursting, jump on the bed, read a good book, snuggle w/the one we love, stop to smell the roses, look around instead of down while we walk, pick up trash we see on the ground, drink in the moment......for some of us we only have a moment.

I had a cousin pass away last year after a 2 year battle w/throat cancer. She made her own funeral arrangements; from who would do her service to what music would be sang. Afterward my dad asked if we would rather know when we were going to die or if we would want to die unexpectedly. I am still undecided on this question. I think we should tell everyone now how we feel & that way we will have no regrets, but it would be nice to be able to tell everyone good-bye one last time, I just would not want to suffer. So, my question is, which would you rather choose?
I am heartbroken to learn when a parent outlives their child. And if the child had to suffer an illness before they finally leave is gut wrenching. Some days I am grateful I lost my son the way I did & that my other children are healthy, for I do not think I am a strong enough person to deal w/my child(ren) suffering before they leave.



Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through there resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. 1Peter 1:3

Telling My Story

Well, I have not really written much about myself or my family on here. I was going to just post bible verses & my favorite song lyrics & such. However, I have been following a few blogs that have really been pulling at my heartstrings & decided, I am going to share some feelings & really blog more.

I am no one special. I have not saved anyone from a burning building, I have not rescued someone from drowning or kept someone from killing their self, but I am a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a cousin, an aunt & a friend. I want to be someone who can help the hurting & the weak. To be an inspiration to someone.

Where to begin, I grew up here in Texas, never really traveled the world, only going as far as Arkansas (not complaining). I do not have lots of money, but I am the richest woman in the world. I have 2 beautiful daughters, Andrea & Makaila; a son in heaven, we named Nehemiah; a wonderful husband, JD; 2 awesome parents, Joe & Sherry; an older brother, Michael, (who, in my eyes is the "wind beneath my wings", he truly inspires me to be the best); a younger brother, Bo, (who I would say is one of my best friends) & 2 sisters, Samantha & Stephanie, who have chosen not to be in our lives (a whole other blog at a whole other time). Among my siblings, I have 7 nephews & 2 nieces.

JD & I are no where near the perfect couple, but I must say we are working on it. I was 18 & he was 17 & seniors in high school when we got pregnant with Andrea. We had no idea what we were doing. But we had our parents' support (after the initial shock & disappointment wore off) to help us. I lived with my parents & JD lived with his until we were ready to move into the real world together (many months later). We had many ups & downs starting out so young. I was also not ready to marry him just because we were expecting a baby; however, he acted ready, he wasn't.

My pregnancy was awesome, for a dumb teenager, except I gained 53lbs & ate everything! My older brother kept telling me I was not going to have her on my due date (October 8th), but on his birthday on October 21st instead. Well, I woke up on Monday, October 20th with slight cramping & some bleeding, but Andrea did not want to be born, so 17 1/2 hours later I had a c-section; @ 12:07am on Tuesday, October 21, 1997 she was here, weighing in @ 7lbs 11 1/2 oz. Hmmmm, maybe my brother knows something we don't. HA!

Except, earlier that day he bought me a cheese pizza (while I was in labor) because I was begging for one. My mom kept telling me no because I would throw up (well, I guess she was right). He also drove me to the hospital (both times), but would not run any of the red lights I begged him to run on our 2nd trip. I am sure glad he was there though.

We finally decided to get married on October 20, 2001 (why we chose the day before Andrea's birthday is beyond me). We were married by Bo's best friend, in my aunt's den with our family & closest friends.

We were 23 & 22 when we decided to try again. It took us 6 months to conceived, but this pregnancy, as before, was uneventful, except the fact that I kept losing weight & my doctor wanted me to gain weight (I was not as skinny as I was the 1st time, so I did not see the point) & I was too tired to eat, but slept ALL the time.

I only went 2 days over my due date of February 28th. Monday, March 3, 2003, my water broke at home while I was whining I did not want to go to work to hear "you look ready to pop" & "can I touch your belly" & "aren't you due yet!" I was going to try for a Vbac (vaginal delivery after c-section), but the baby had other plans. I was only at the hospital for an hour before I was whisked away to have an EMERGENCY C-section. I had to move myself to the operating table, only to turn on my side to see the fetal heart monitor going down from 62...61...60, I was dry shaven & knocked completely out only to wake up feeling like I had been cut in half & left to die. Makaila was born @ 9:35am, weighing in @ 7lbs 3oz.

Not ready to quit, we wanted to try for a third. This time hoping for a boy. We were 28 & 27 when we decided this. Many times going back & forth, because JD had watched a documentary about multiple c-sections & the risks & statistics of death & blah, blah, blah. Oh, where was I, so we decided to get started. It only took us three months before I knew it, I was pregnant. This pregnancy was actually eventful. Before every appointment I had nightmares that they were going to tell me my baby was dead. But the first appointment was good, weighing, peeing, talking, writing out my medical history, signing insurance documents. 2 weeks later I had my 1st sonogram & saw the little heartbeat. My next appointment (12 weeks) they could not find a heartbeat w/the Doppler & I was sent across the street to do an ultrasound. There the little bugger was, moving around so much the tech said that is why we could not hear the heart beat (I wish I had asked him if a DVD recording would have been possible). My next appointment (16 weeks) went great too & I was already feeling movement (way earlier than my other two).

But at 20 weeks, I was on to the heartbreak of my life! It was Wednesday, October 17th & I had not had my usual nightmare, but I knew I had not been feeling any movement for at least a week. They did the Doppler first. My nurse just asked me "do you have any other children?".......WTH!?!?! They sent me downstairs this time for an ultrasound. We waited FOREVER!!!! But as soon as she put the scanner on my belly & turned on the monitor, I knew! My baby was just laying there in the fetal position, NO heartbeat!! She turned off the monitor & told us she had to get the doctor. I started crying & JD did not know anything, he just asked me what was wrong......I could not look at him as I said "the baby is dead". He instantly broke down. They said the baby had been gone about 1 1/2 weeks. Next, we went back to the exam room to talk about our "options". The baby was big enough to be delivered, but too small to do a c-section. They could induce as early as the next day or wait until Monday. Andrea's birthday was that Sunday & there was no way I was going to have a birthday & family w/my baby dead inside of me, so we opted to deliver the next day.

They started the induction at 11:30 & I delivered a son @ 9:41pm on Thursday, October 18, 2007. The placenta did not want to come out all in one piece so I had to be put under to have a D&C. They almost could not get the bleeding stopped; it was explained to me later that there are three steps to get the bleeding to stop before a hysterectomy & I was at the third step, by the grace of God, they stopped it with a shot in my arm.

@ 4:30am they brought my son in to me in a beautiful white basket & he was wrapped in a green blanket. I was scared to pick him up, so the nurse unwrapped him & I just touched him & stared at him. JD looked at him, but he could not touch him. He was perfectly formed & so beautiful. My nurse was awesome! I wish I would have had her hand him to me to hold. Unfortunately, we did not have a funeral (I wish we had had him cremated) & the hospital dropped the ball so there was no autopsy. We will never know why he died & I hope the hospital did not throw him out with the trash. We have a special place in our garden with his stepping stone , an angel statue & a statue of a hand w/a baby in it.

I love my girls, but sometimes I just want my son back, even if just for a moment. I do not even know if we will ever try for another baby, but for now I find peace & comfort knowing that one day we will all be together in Heaven. I know Jesus is caring for my baby until I get there. We do not know if we will ever try again. This has broken us down to our lowest point, but also brought us closer together. Satan will not win!

That is all I have to share for now, but I do plan to do this more often. But for now, I wish you well & may God bless you every morning by waking you up w/the beautiful sun shine on your face & breath in your mouth.

Bless Your Future

Today's Scripture

"I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live" Deuteronomy 30:19

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria

Did you know that with your words you can either bless your future or curse your future? Your words have creative power. If you want to know what your life is to going to be like five years from now, just listen to what you’re saying about yourself today. Too many people go around saying, "I´ll never get well. I´ll never get out of debt." "It´s flu season. I´ll probably get it." "This marriage is never going to last." Then they wonder why they don´t see things turn around. It´s because they´re calling defeat into their future. They´re calling in mediocrity. Don´t let that be you!

When you get up in the morning, no matter how you feel, no matter what things look like, instead of using your words to describe your situation, use your words to change your situation. Make a declaration of faith by saying, "This is going to be a great day. I have God´s favor. He´s directing my steps." When you do that, you are choosing to bless your future. You are calling in favor, increase, and opportunities. You are opening the door for God to move on your behalf so you can live the abundant life He has for you!

Angels Among Us & Exodus 23:20

I am a firm believer that their are angels among us.
Have you ever felt sad or alone & looked up to see a total stranger smiling at you & then start to feel a little better? Or do you have a friend who is never upset & everyone likes to be around, but you just do not know why? You might even be going through something & you meet someone who has been in a similar situation that you can talk to. God put certain people in our lives to make us stronger, happier & closer to Him. Those are Angels!



"See, I am sending an angel before you, to guard you on the way and bring you to the place I have prepared. Be attentive to him and heed his voice." - Exodus 23:20

He Set the Course for Victory

"He holds victory in store for the upright, He is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for He guards the course of the just and protects the way of His faithful ones" Proverbs 2:7-8

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria

Are you facing a challenge or difficulty that seems overwhelming? When you stand strong and remain faithful to God, He promises to set your course for victory! And victory doesn´t necessarily mean everything is going to go our way all the time or work out the way we planned. The Bible says that the real battle we face isn´t in our circumstances, it´s in our minds. The enemy is after your thoughts. He´s after your peace and joy. He knows that when you have peace, it´s a sign that you are connected to the Father. When you hold on to your peace and choose to be joyful, you are walking in victory, and it´s just a matter of time before your circumstances line up! Remember, God knew every person who would wrong you, and He´s already laid out your vindication. God knew every disappointment, and He´s already laid out new opportunities. God knew everything that would be stolen, and He has already laid out your restoration. Rejoice today knowing that He has set your course for victory in every area of your life!

Dreaming With a Broken Heart (lyrics)

by John Mayer

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for the moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was she really here?
Is she standing in my room?
No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
She takes you in with her crying eyes
Then all at once you have to say goodbye
Wondering could you stay my love?
Will you wake up by my side?
No she can't, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

Now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my , roses in my hands?

Would you get them if i did?
No you won't, 'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part

Matthew 19:14

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

My Redeemer Lives

One of my favorite parts to My Redeemer Lives by Nicole C. Mullins:

And the same gentle hands that hold me when I'm broken
They conquered death to bring me victory

Amen

Praise You in This Storm (lyrics)

words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus

What NOT to Say.........

Sometimes finding the words to say to someone after losing a baby seems hard to find & then other times they just spill out of your mouth without warning. I compiled a list of things people actually said to me that hurt more than helped & in the end I have some things you could try saying or doing.

"I know what you are feeling, when my dog died last year......." - Unless you have actually lost a baby, you have no idea what I am feeling.
"At least you already have children" - Thank God for that, but you make it seem like I did not want this one.
"You can have another one" - NO!, I wanted this ONE!
"You know how to get over it? Have another one!" - Umm, NO, it won't take place of this one!
"There was something wrong with the baby" - Oh, now you're psychic?
"It's probably for the best?" - What? For who? I would have been the best mother ever!
"Lucky it was an early loss" - A baby becomes a baby at time of conception. It hurts no matter what trimester you are in.

How about saying:
"Do you need anything?"
"I'm sorry."
"Do you want to talk?"
"I love you!"
"You are in my prayers"
"I'm thinking about you."

Sometimes not saying anything hurts just as bad, but if you do not know what to say a hug will do, really.

& if I do not seem happy that you are pregnant, I really am happy just jealous & you being mad just makes me feel guilty.

LiTtLe GiRls ArE.......

Wiser Than Men

Precious
Born Shoppers
in Love
Not to Be Trusted
Little Divas
Sweet
Daddy's Little Angels
Princesses
Silly
a Gift
Better at Math
Pretty
Perfect
Made of Sugar & Spice

Angelversary Memorial Ideas

An Angelversary is a term used typically to refer to the one year date of your baby's birth and/or passing. It can also refer to any number of important dates regarding your angel baby. On this page we give you a number of ideas on how to celebrate these special dates.

1. Wear something special: Have a shirt made up with your child's name & angel date on it, or a picture. You could wear special jewelry or a brooch that reminds you of your baby.
2. Buy baby a gift: To keep or donate to another baby in your baby's honor.
3. Send a message: Write a letter to your baby & burn it or put it in a memory box.
4. Pamper yourself: Go to the spa.
5. Visit your child's resting place: Take flowers or balloons & visit a while.
6. Take baby some place new: You can go somewhere different every year & take pictures of this special place to put into a scrapbook.
7. Send a letter to family & friends: Send them a special memory or thought you want to share about your baby.
8. Have a birthday party: Have cake & ice cream with family & friends. Take up donations instead of gifts to donate to a local charity.
9. Go out to eat: Find a restaurant to go to every year & maybe see if you are able to reserve a table under your baby's name you can sit at every year. Many cultures honor the gift of food and water to those who have passed on.
10. Release balloons or butterflies: You can attach a note to the balloons to send to your angel baby.
11. Volunteer: Using this day to volunteer in honor of your child can be very healing & nurturing.
12. Help someone else with a loss: There are countless ways in which you can help others who have experienced a loss. ideas
13. In name of Gift: One way to keep your child's memory & name alive is to buy an "in name of" gift. You can buy a star named after your child or give a financial contribution to a deserving charity among other things.
14. Light a candle: A very simple & calming way to honor your child is to light a candle for them.
15. Specific cultural or spiritual ceremony: There are numerous cultural & spiritual ceremonies that can be performed in honor of your child.
16. Create/View art and/or music: You can create a special piece of art or music to honor your child on this day. Alternatively you can view beautiful art or listen to beautiful music on this day perhaps even purchase some to put inside your memory box or scrapbook.
17. Fast: Fasting is a good way to cleanse the soul.
18. Read poetry, book, or other piece of literature: Thee are many healing, loving, inspirational pieces of literature in the world that you can read on this special day. You can read it aloud to your family, you can read it to your angel baby, or do so privately.
19. Connect with other angel families - You are not alone. Others with angel babies know how important it is to honor your Angelversary. You can talk to others in a local support group, someone you know personally, or families online.
20. Living object: You can plant something in honor of your beloved child.
21. Journal and/or Scrapbooks memories: On this special day you can choose to journal special memories or thoughts for your child.
22. Memorial notice in newspaper: You may quite easily buy space in the local newspaper for a memorial notice.
23. Adopt a pet: Pets are great healers
24. Engage in a random act of kindness: A beautiful thing to do is perform a random act of kindness. Think of someone you know who could use a little help or uplifting gift.
25. Go on vacation: You can be happy & have fun while honoring your angel baby!

GOd HaS PoSitiVe AnSwErs

You say:"It's Impossible" God says:"All things are possible" Luke 18:27 You say:"I'm too tired" God says:"I will give you rest" Matt. 11:28-30
You say:"Nobody really loves me" God says:"I love you" John 3:1-6 & 3:34
You say:"I can't go on" God says:"My grace is sufficient" 2 Cor. 12:9 & Psalm 91:15
You say:"I can't figure things out" God says:"I will direct your steps" Proverbs 3:5-6
You say:"I can't do it" God says:" You can do all things" Phil. 4:13
You say:"I'm not able" God says:"I am able" 2 Cor. 9:8
You say:"It's not worth it" God says:"It will be worth it" Roman 8:28
You say:"I can't forgive myself" God says:"I forgive you" 1John 1:9 & Rom. 8:1
You say:"I can't manage" God says:"I will supply all your needs" Phil. 4:19
You say:"I'm afraid" God says:"I have not given you a spirit of fear" 2Tim. 1:7
You say:"I'm always worried & frustrated" God says:"Cast all your cares on Me" 1Peter 5:7
You say:"I'm not smart enough" God says:"I give you wisdom" 1Cor. 1:30
You say:"I feel alone" God says:"I will never leave your or forsake you" Hebrews 13:5

Did You Know?

• 983,000 babies died in 1996, from miscarriage and stillbirth.
• In 1995, 15.7% of pregnancies ended in fetal demise, miscarriage or stillbirth.
• Those figures don't include neonatal loss, SIDS, or other causes.*

*According to The Center for Disease Control Trends in Pregnancies and Pregnancy Rates by Outcome Vital Health Stat (21)56 done in January 2000.
Too many families grieve in silence, sometimes never coming to terms with their loss. Our goal is to help others relate to our loss, know what to say, do or not say, not do and to help families live with their loss, not "get over" their loss.
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, October 15th, is to promote Support, Education and Awareness for grieving parents nationwide (and worldwide).

http://www.october15th.com/transcription.htm

In 2005, 1 in 8 babies (12.7% of live births) was born premature in the United States.

fam - i - ly (noun): any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins

Princess Drea

Dutchess Makaila

My Nephew Alex

My Nephew Connorad

My Nephew Dobie

My Nephew PepperMy Niece Cadence

My Nephew Carson

My Daddy & I

Me, Doing My Best MySpace Picture Pose lol

My Mom & Dad (aka Granny & Papa)

My Older Brother Michael (the wind beneath my wings), Getting a Kiss

My Sister-in-Law Jessica

My Baby Brother Bo, never can get a serious picture

My Sister-in-Law Laci

My Grandma

My Favorite Aunt Na

My Cousin Anthony, Showing off His Guns

Compassion is......

ChOicE!
BreAtHtaKinG!
UnivErSAl VaLue!
OutsHinEd bY IgNOranCe!
PoWEr!
foR thE BiRds!
TraNsfOrminG OuR WoRld!
in OuR LivES!
tHe BAsiS oF MOralIty!
LOvE!
TeNdErnEss!
thE KEy For BEttEring LivEs!
CEntRal to All REligiOns!
BeGan LiFE!
aN InSidE JoB!
Not AbOuT BecOmiNg FamOUs!
GoOd!
GenErOsiTy!
thE WaY!
tHe ExPRresSiOn oF PrActiCe ThrOUgh SeRVicE iN thE WoRld!
MorE ThaN FliNgiNg a CoIN to A BEggAr!

St. Christopher

(Story according to Wikipedia)

The Golden Legend

According to the account in the Golden Legend by Jacobus de Voragine, Christopher was a Canaanite 12 cubits (18 ft) tall and with a fearsome face. While serving the king of Canaan, he took it into his head to go and serve the greatest king there was. He went to the king who was reputed to be the greatest, but one day he saw the king cross himself at the mention of the devil. On thus learning that the king feared the devil, he departed to look for the devil. He came across a band of marauders, one of whom declared himself to be the devil, so Christopher decided to serve him. But when he saw his new master avoid a wayside cross and found out that the devil feared Christ, he left him and inquired from people where to find Christ. He met a hermit who instructed him in the Christian faith. Christopher asked him how he could serve Christ. When the hermit suggested fasting and prayer, Christopher replied that he was unable to perform that service. The hermit then suggested that because of his size and strength Christopher could serve Christ by assisting people to cross a dangerous river, where many were perishing in the attempt. The hermit promised that this service would be pleasing to Christ.

After Christopher had performed this service for some time, a little child asked him to take him across the river. During the crossing, the river became swollen and the child seemed as heavy as lead, so much that Christopher could scarcely carry him and found himself in great difficulty. When he finally reached the other side, he said to the child: "You have put me in the greatest danger. I do not think the whole world could have been as heavy on my shoulders as you were." The child replied: "You had on your shoulders not only the whole world but him who made it. I am Christ your king, whom you are serving by this work." The child then vanished.

Christopher later visited the city of Lycia and there comforted the Christians who were being martyred. Brought before the local king, he refused to sacrifice to the pagan gods. The king tried to win him by riches and by sending two beautiful women to tempt him. Christopher converted the women to Christianity, as he had already converted thousands in the city. The king ordered him to be killed. Various attempts failed, but finally Christopher was decapitated.

The World Is.....

.Flat!
..Not Enough!
...Yours!
....My Canvas!
.....Round!
......Curved!
.......Frozen!
........Rocky!
..........Mine!
..........Watching!
...........Changing!
..........Coming!
.........Your Video Game!
........Dangerous!
.......Creative!
......Ours!
.....Calling!
....Moving!
...Held Together by Duct Tape!
..Your Studio!
.Ready!

I'll Say a Little Prayer For You.....

Good Sunday & Happy New Year!

We all need someone else to say a prayer for us some time, right? Let me know if you would like me to add you to my prayer list.

Jesus Is....

The Only WaY tO Heaven!
CoMinG!
Way CoOl!
My FRieNd!
ReAdy!
LoVE! The SoN Of GOD!
LoRD!
MaGic!
HoPe For TomORroW!
Not a RelIgioN!
thE GiFT!
My HomEbOy!
WoNDerfUL!
The LiGht of the WoRld!
AlivE!
WeEpinG!
a SoUL Man!
The CurE!
WorShipPed!
LiviNG!
The MesSiaH!
The WaY!
On OuR SidE!
HapPineSs! BoRn ArT!
LoRD of My LifE!
BetteR Than SanTa!
Not a BrAnD!
ThE ReaSOn foR EveRy SeasOn!

What I Wish for You This New Year: Peace, Love & Happiness

In a world of some discouragement, sorrow, and overmuch sin, in times when fear and despair seem to prevail, when humanity is feverish with no worldly physicians in sight, I too say, “Trust Jesus.” Let Him still the tempest and ride upon the storm. Believe that He can lift mankind from its bed of affliction, in time and in eternity. ~Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Psalm 16:7-9

I will bless the Lord who has given me counsel;
My hear also instructs me in the night seasons. I have set the Lord always before me;
Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices;
My flesh also will rest in hope.