Well, we got a letter in the mail Friday telling us our meetings at The Hope & Healing Place will begin again on Thursday, March 5th. I am very excited!
According to our previous e-mail there are 3 new people & a dad (not sure if he is included in the 3 or if he makes 4). Either way, Praise to God that we are reaching more people who are hurting after a pregnancy or infant loss. We started w/6 the first week & it dwindled down to just 4 (JD included) by the third week.
It does make me nervous though to begin again with new people. Only because you do not know what to expect. Our first time was so intense that I cried the whole time & did not say anything. Everyone who shared their story made me cry that much more. One of the other ladies did not share her story & never came back. I still pray for her to find peace & hopefully she will return to share her story w/someone.
It is nice to be able to share your own personal struggles w/someone who knows first hand what you are experiencing. It also feels good to just have someone listen. I have so much compassion for the ladies who shared their stories with us last time. We should be able to grieve & it helps that we have somewhere to go.
I will keep you informed on our little group. I cannot tell you anyone's name, but I can share my experience.
Sometimes finding the words to say to someone after losing a baby seems hard to find & then other times they just spill out of your mouth without warning. I compiled a list of things people actually said to me that hurt more than helped & in the end I have some things you could try saying or doing.
"I know what you are feeling, when my dog died last year......." - Unless you have actually lost a baby, you have no idea what I am feeling.
"At least you already have children" - Thank God for that, but you make it seem like I did not want this one.
"You can have another one" - NO!, I wanted this ONE!
"You know how to get over it? Have another one!" - Umm, NO, it won't take place of this one!
"There was something wrong with the baby" - Oh, now you're psychic?
"It's probably for the best?" - What? For who? I would have been the best mother ever!
"Lucky it was an early loss" - A baby becomes a baby at time of conception. It hurts no matter what trimester you are in.
How about saying:
"Do you need anything?"
"I'm sorry."
"Do you want to talk?"
"I love you!"
"You are in my prayers"
"I'm thinking about you."
Sometimes not saying anything hurts just as bad, but if you do not know what to say a hug will do, really.
& if I do not seem happy that you are pregnant, I really am happy just jealous & you being mad just makes me feel guilty.
An Angelversary is a term used typically to refer to the one year date of your baby's birth and/or passing. It can also refer to any number of important dates regarding your angel baby. On this page we give you a number of ideas on how to celebrate these special dates.
1. Wear something special: Have a shirt made up with your child's name & angel date on it, or a picture. You could wear special jewelry or a brooch that reminds you of your baby.
2. Buy baby a gift: To keep or donate to another baby in your baby's honor.
3. Send a message: Write a letter to your baby & burn it or put it in a memory box.
4. Pamper yourself: Go to the spa.
5. Visit your child's resting place: Take flowers or balloons & visit a while.
6. Take baby some place new: You can go somewhere different every year & take pictures of this special place to put into a scrapbook.
7. Send a letter to family & friends: Send them a special memory or thought you want to share about your baby.
8. Have a birthday party: Have cake & ice cream with family & friends. Take up donations instead of gifts to donate to a local charity.
9. Go out to eat: Find a restaurant to go to every year & maybe see if you are able to reserve a table under your baby's name you can sit at every year. Many cultures honor the gift of food and water to those who have passed on.
10. Release balloons or butterflies: You can attach a note to the balloons to send to your angel baby.
11. Volunteer: Using this day to volunteer in honor of your child can be very healing & nurturing.
12. Help someone else with a loss: There are countless ways in which you can help others who have experienced a loss. ideas
13. In name of Gift: One way to keep your child's memory & name alive is to buy an "in name of" gift. You can buy a star named after your child or give a financial contribution to a deserving charity among other things.
14. Light a candle: A very simple & calming way to honor your child is to light a candle for them.
15. Specific cultural or spiritual ceremony: There are numerous cultural & spiritual ceremonies that can be performed in honor of your child.
16. Create/View art and/or music: You can create a special piece of art or music to honor your child on this day. Alternatively you can view beautiful art or listen to beautiful music on this day perhaps even purchase some to put inside your memory box or scrapbook.
17. Fast: Fasting is a good way to cleanse the soul.
18. Read poetry, book, or other piece of literature: Thee are many healing, loving, inspirational pieces of literature in the world that you can read on this special day. You can read it aloud to your family, you can read it to your angel baby, or do so privately.
19. Connect with other angel families - You are not alone. Others with angel babies know how important it is to honor your Angelversary. You can talk to others in a local support group, someone you know personally, or families online.
20. Living object: You can plant something in honor of your beloved child.
21. Journal and/or Scrapbooks memories: On this special day you can choose to journal special memories or thoughts for your child.
22. Memorial notice in newspaper: You may quite easily buy space in the local newspaper for a memorial notice.
23. Adopt a pet: Pets are great healers
24. Engage in a random act of kindness: A beautiful thing to do is perform a random act of kindness. Think of someone you know who could use a little help or uplifting gift.
25. Go on vacation: You can be happy & have fun while honoring your angel baby!
You say:"It's Impossible" God says:"All things are possible" Luke 18:27
You say:"I'm too tired" God says:"I will give you rest" Matt. 11:28-30
You say:"Nobody really loves me" God says:"I love you" John 3:1-6 & 3:34
You say:"I can't go on" God says:"My grace is sufficient" 2 Cor. 12:9 & Psalm 91:15
You say:"I can't figure things out" God says:"I will direct your steps" Proverbs 3:5-6
You say:"I can't do it" God says:" You can do all things" Phil. 4:13
You say:"I'm not able" God says:"I am able" 2 Cor. 9:8
You say:"It's not worth it" God says:"It will be worth it" Roman 8:28
You say:"I can't forgive myself" God says:"I forgive you" 1John 1:9 & Rom. 8:1
You say:"I can't manage" God says:"I will supply all your needs" Phil. 4:19
You say:"I'm afraid" God says:"I have not given you a spirit of fear" 2Tim. 1:7
You say:"I'm always worried & frustrated" God says:"Cast all your cares on Me" 1Peter 5:7
You say:"I'm not smart enough" God says:"I give you wisdom" 1Cor. 1:30
You say:"I feel alone" God says:"I will never leave your or forsake you" Hebrews 13:5
ChOicE!
BreAtHtaKinG!
UnivErSAl VaLue!
OutsHinEd bY IgNOranCe!
PoWEr!
foR thE BiRds!
TraNsfOrminG OuR WoRld!
in OuR LivES!
tHe BAsiS oF MOralIty!
LOvE!
TeNdErnEss!
thE KEy For BEttEring LivEs!
CEntRal to All REligiOns!
BeGan LiFE!
aN InSidE JoB!
Not AbOuT BecOmiNg FamOUs!
GoOd!
GenErOsiTy!
thE WaY!
tHe ExPRresSiOn oF PrActiCe ThrOUgh SeRVicE iN thE WoRld!
MorE ThaN FliNgiNg a CoIN to A BEggAr!
