Generously Giving

Every year that I have participated in the March for Babies I tend to beat myself up for not making the top Family Team or for not getting as much money as a new team does.  

This Sunday we were in Matthew 6:1-4 and the lesson was on giving. It states that we should give in private and not to expect anything in return for it. That as long as we are giving and keeping it between ourselves and God, we will receive our rewards in Heaven.

So, I am making a promise to myself that I am going to do everything I can in honor of my Nehemiah and the babies I walk for and I am not going to beat myself up for not being in the top. As long as I have my heart in it, then I am doing it for the right reason.

I will pray for my team though and for myself to do everything we can to help our community in the mission to fight prematurity and birth defects.

I will no longer be upset if I am not getting the exact support that other teams are getting or raking in the funds other teams get. Instead, I will hold my head high and be proud of myself and my team for what we have accomplished over the past 5 years. 

This year, year 6, is going to be the best year, I just know it! 

And all glory be to God! 

P.s. if you feel the need to give, please click on the March for Babies icon on the right-hand side of my blog.

Check Up

Wednesday I had my monthly checkup. It went well. The little beaner did not want to be still so we can hear a heartbeat. The nurse would get a read & then the little beaner would move. One time beaner even kicked the Doppler, like to say, "Hey, get that off of me!".

Every appointment we have with the doctor, we hold our breaths until we hear that sweet washing machine sound. I even think my doctor holds her breath along with us. Not too sure when my next sonogram will be, but we have another appointment in 3 weeks. I am sure we will know by then when our next sonogram will be. This Tuesday we will be 18 weeks along, by our next appointment we will be 21 weeks. As soon as I reach that 20 week mark with this little baby still kicking & thriving, I will be able to breathe deeply.

JD & I discuss this often. Both of us scared to be too excited, even though we want so much to be. We understand all too well that no life is guaranteed, no pregnancy is guaranteed to have a happy ending. We may not be able to breathe deeply until we have this little baby put into our arms after taking his/her first breath.

So, for now I will continue to give the glory to God for giving me this little life to carry, nurture & care for until the day he/she makes the great grand entrance into the world.

Week 14+

We are on week 14 & 5 days & all seems well & right with the world.

Still giving glory to God for the blessings in my life. Praying daily for this little miracle to stay here with us & be healthy. It is trying at times because of fear. The fear of another loss, the fear of what would come about if we lost this baby, the fear of having to feel the emptiness that comes along with the loss of a baby. However, I have accepted that I will not let fear run my life. It will not take over this pregnancy!

I have some sinus issues & I may lose a nose before long. I have one nostril that likes to run when I am without a tissue, but stops up when I am trying to sleep. I feel like cutting it off of my face. But how funny would I look then if I were to do that. JD tells me it will be all worth it in the end, so I guess I will survive.

Besides my nose being disgusting, I have felt like I can feel this baby move already. That is pretty exciting, yet scary too because I do not feel the baby all of the time so I start to panic a little. I just tell myself that I am not far enough along yet & to enjoy it when I feel the movements.

.................................

I am sorry, but I am going to break in here & ask you all who read my blog to pray for a few people today.

My grandma was admitted to the hospital over the start of the weekend for anemia & has had to receive at least 3 pints of blood since I last spoke with my dad. Not too sure what else they have determined, but just pray that the doctors listen to God for the best treatment. I hope to know more later.

Also, a small family in Dallas that my brother & his family know need prayers for healing & understanding. The wife went in for a DNC only to have it go badly. It seems she has lost 95% of her small intestines, but seems to be physically healing. Just pray for her continued healing & for comfort with their loss as well.

If I can pray for you, please let me know.



"Give ear to my words, O Lord, Consider my my meditation. Give heed to the voice of my cry, My King & my God, For to You I will pray." Psalm 5:1-2

Everyday is a New Day...

Wow! Today I was an emotional wreck! I do not know what has come over me. Nehemiah has been heavy on my mind today. I hope this is not how the remainder of my pregnancy will be.

Before we got pregnant, JD & I had talked about whether we would feel guilty having another baby or if we will feel guilty if we ended up having another boy. This discussion has come up again now that we are pregnant. Do we feel guilty having another child to "replace" him? I do not feel in anyway we replaced Nehemiah. For one, we were not trying! The other reason, I do not feel you can ever replace anyone or anything that you have lost that is near & dear to you. This baby that I am carrying is a new baby, a different baby, even if it turns out to be another boy.

Now today I felt saddened/guilty for being so happy. I almost felt like he kept reminding me he was here so that I will not forget him while I am thinking about this baby. Then again maybe it is my subconscious reminding me, putting Nehemiah in my thoughts.

Everyday is a new day, with new feelings & new emotions. I am happy here in this moment & like I have said before, I give all the glory to God. If it were not for Him, none of us would be here today.



"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-8