Today marks the beginning of summer break for my girls & JD, even though school ended for him a few weeks ago. Now it is time for sleeping in, movie marathons, barbies, swimming pool time & staying up late.
I remember carefree summers. Granted it is nothing like it use to be. We stayed out late with the neighborhood kids playing hide-n-go seek in the dark & tag by porch light. I remember catching locus & collecting their dried skin stuck to the trees. Locus freak me out now though & we really do not have as many as we use to have. I wish my girls could enjoy those times with my 11 year-old self. Wouldn't that be something?
I love my hubby working part-time right now because he gets his own bonding time with his children. Granted, in a few weeks he may be begging for "free time"...lol! I love that he watches the baby when I am at work so we do not have to put him in the hands of strangers, aka daycare (it is that fear thing I talked about in my last post). I know with JD, Crispin is getting 100% of his attention & he is taken very good care of. I am a little jealous, but I know when JD gets done with school I plan to cut back on work to be with the children & hopefully get us all into volunteering somewhere.
I pray our summer is not filled with the dryness we have been experiencing right now, especially because of all of the fires we have been experiencing. They are talking about not having a firework show this year because of all the fires. Safety first! I pray for each & everyone of you to have an awesome & safe summer.
Time really does fly by when you are having fun! Where does it go, no one knows.
I remember thinking about all the things my girls would do when they were babies, like rolling over, walking, talking, but with Crispin it is different. I am not sure if it is because he is the last baby JD & I will have or if it is from knowing how fast a life can end. No matter how long or short it is.
Instead, I have woken myself, as well as JD, during the middle of the night to make sure Crispin is still breathing, that he is not too hot or too cold. That he has his paci or just to put him bed with us. When I go to the store I look around to make sure some crazy person is not about to jump out & steal my baby from me & make him their own.
One night, after our late night nursing session, I woke to find that Crispin was smashed up against me with the covers over his head. I pulled the covers back & touched his face, thinking it would startle him enough to make his hand move. But nothing. So, I lifted his hand up & it fell back down to the bed like he had been t.k.o.'d. I did this three more times all with the same result. I turned his head over to look at me, but that did nothing. Soon I had him uncovered & was shaking him a little. By this time I had startled JD & he was telling me he was fine & to look at his chest rising & falling. Sure enough he was because by now he was awake & ticked off! I just laid there laughing at myself.
I know he is a happy, healthy, 16.6 pound baby who loves his mama & is best friends with his daddy. Who loves his sisters & their crazy ways. Who loves to nurse, talk & smile, not always in that order. So, for now I will Praise Jesus for blessing me with my sweet precious boy & my beautiful little girls. I will enjoy their precious moments, for I know one day I will miss this.
The Princess
The Duchess
The Prince
Yesterday was Mother's Day & I had a blessed day!
The girls & I went to church. We enjoyed great praise & worship music & heard a great sermon. After church they made some homemade Mother's Day cards.
I went to eat dinner with my mom, sister-in-love, my grandma, my aunt Na & my cousin. Every year my mom treats us all to dinner. The last couple of years we have went to Texas Roadhouse. We chat with one another & enjoy great food. Later that evening my little brother took my mom & I to Ruby Tequila's. That was really nice as well.
I could not help it, but there was one thing that stuck in my mind the whole day was mothers without their children & children without their mothers.
I am blessed to have had two beautiful healthy girls before my precious Nehemiah came into & back out of our lives. I am blessed to still have my beautiful mother to celebrate Mother's Day with & her mother, who if it weren't for her I would not have my mother. I am also blessed to have a new baby boy to celebrate Mother's Day with.
My heart aches to think that one day my mother will not be here to celebrate our special day. Or that God could call another one of my children home to be with Him. I have to try not to think about these things & enjoy the time I have with each of them now. Just as I am sure when Father's Day approaches I will have these same thoughts, fathers without their children & children without their fathers.
I do believe with all of my heart that whether you have 15 children or 1, you are a mother or father. I also believe if any of those children, or all for that matter, were to be called home, you are still a mother or a father. Just the same as you are still someone's child if your parents are called home. It does not make us feel better, but hopefully brings peace knowing that one day we will never have to go a day without the one(s) we love.
I pray daily for my friends & family who are without their parents &/or children. It is tough to go on living feeling like you are not complete no matter how many years go by or how many children you have. Something will always be missing.
So for now we must make the best of the time we have & make new memories, remember the ones & just live life the way the ones we are missing would have wanted us to live it.
Happy Mother's Day After!
