Saturday, February 28, 2009

Hope & Healing

Well, we got a letter in the mail Friday telling us our meetings at The Hope & Healing Place will begin again on Thursday, March 5th. I am very excited!

According to our previous e-mail there are 3 new people & a dad (not sure if he is included in the 3 or if he makes 4). Either way, Praise to God that we are reaching more people who are hurting after a pregnancy or infant loss. We started w/6 the first week & it dwindled down to just 4 (JD included) by the third week.

It does make me nervous though to begin again with new people. Only because you do not know what to expect. Our first time was so intense that I cried the whole time & did not say anything. Everyone who shared their story made me cry that much more. One of the other ladies did not share her story & never came back. I still pray for her to find peace & hopefully she will return to share her story w/someone.

It is nice to be able to share your own personal struggles w/someone who knows first hand what you are experiencing. It also feels good to just have someone listen. I have so much compassion for the ladies who shared their stories with us last time. We should be able to grieve & it helps that we have somewhere to go.

I will keep you informed on our little group. I cannot tell you anyone's name, but I can share my experience.


Friday, February 27, 2009

I'm In Better Hands Now (lyrics)

by Natalie Grant

It's hard to stand on shifting sand
It's hard to shine in the shadows of the night
You can't be free if you don't reach for help
You cant love if you dont love yourself

There is hope when my faith runs out
Cause I'm in better hands now

It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down
It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground
So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
I'm in better hands now

I am strong all because of you
I stand in awe of every mountain that you move
Oh I am changed, yesterday is gone
I am safe from this moment on

There's no fear when the night comes 'round
I'm in better hands now

It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down
It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground
So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
I'm in better hands now

It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down
It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground
Its like the world is silent though I know it isnt true
Its like the breath of Jesus is right here in this room

So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
I'm in better hands now
I'm in better hands now

Update

Okay, today is the third day of lent & I have not given in to temptation & eaten any chips. I was craving a Taco Villa Deluxe Nachos yesterday, but I did not get one. My husband & children keep teasing me with chips though. JD keeps asking me if I would like some chips w/that. & he keeps telling me he will make me some homemade hot sauce or queso to eat w/my chips. If you know my family, you know they will not make this easy for me. But I have God on my side & I will not let the devil(s) tempt me.

Hope everyone else joining in is doing as well. Only 37 more days & then I can have a handful of Tostitos w/some homemade guacamole & Tascosa Hot Sauce.

For those of you who do not know what Tascosa Hot Sauce is, it is a locally owned hot sauce manufacturer that makes the best hot sauce in town. My parents moved to Arkansas for 8 months & during that time my dad was feigning so bad that when he came to visit he bought it in bulk & when we went to see him we had to take a few jars to him. You can even mix a little bit of Pace Picante Sauce to give it a little something extra. Mmmm good!



Watch & pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak. Matthew 26:41

Thursday, February 26, 2009

SpRiNg TiMe?

a Stone from Hobby Lobby
I live in Texas & anyone who lives or has ever lived in Texas knows the weatherman is not to be trusted.

The summer of 2007 we had moved a rose bush from our driveway, that we kept hitting w/our van & my mom gave me one of her rose bushes she had so we could start a little garden in the front yard. Unfortunately they both went into shock & I had to cut them back a lot.

After we lost our son we decided to make it better & add some stuff to it so we could use it as a memorial for Nehemiah.


Nehemiah's Stepping Stone & Statues
When spring time came around there were these tulips coming up in the middle of our yard & JD kept mowing them over. So, mom & I dug the bulbs & added them. Then one day I was walking down the sidewalk & every few steps there were these little purple flowers. So, I dug one up & it had a bulb. I got busy moving them over to the garden as well. Unfortunately they died a few days later.

Not wanting to give up just yet we planted pansies. They grew so beautifully & all of them bloomed, but JD killed them accidentally when he sprayed the yard for weeds.

Then, we tried a purple & white Hyacinth. They bloomed so pretty, but only one time.

Next, we added two little flowering plants, called Impatiens, a handful of sunflower seeds & two mini rose bushes; however, the plants & rose bushes burned up & again JD thought the sunflowers were weeds so he dug them up (we did have 3 of them survive & bloom).

The best part though were the two rose bushes (at the time they were sticks) mom & I moved in the previous summer did bloom one time too!
Well, this winter mom had an idea to add some mulch & water to keep what we had from freezing. I went out side the other day to see some very beautiful sights!! I am adding the pix here.
Miniature Rose Bush
New Growth on the Rose Bush
New Growth on the 2nd Rose Bush
The Purple Hyacinth
Tulip Leaves
The Leaves to the Little Purple Flowers
& my Dianthus
This year we are planning on trying out a vegetable garden. Wish us luck!









I am the true vine, & My Father is the vine dresser. John 15:1

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

ASH WEDNESDAY

n. The seventh Wednesday before Easter and the first day of Lent, on which many Christians receive a mark of ashes on the forehead as a token of penitence and mortality.

LENT
–noun
(in the Christian religion) an annual season of fasting and penitence in preparation for Easter, beginning on Ash Wednesday and lasting 40 weekdays to Easter, observed by Roman Catholic, Anglican, and certain other churches.

Lent, in some Christian Denominations, is the 40 day long liturgical season of fasting & prayer before Easter. The 40 days represent the time Jesus spent in the desert, where according to the Bible He endured temptation by Satan. (According to Wikipedia)

I have never joined into this tradition because I assumed it was only observed by Catholics; however, I work at a large association & have met many believers of Christ & have discovered that more & more people of different denominations are joining in. So, I have decided to do it as well this year.

I thought really hard about what I can give up. I do not drink cokes very often, so that is out. Then I was going to give up my internet, but I guess I am not enough like God & can honestly say I know I would cheat. Originally I was going to give up biting my nails, but a friend informed me it has to be something I enjoy. Well, I do enjoy biting my nails, or why would I do it, but I decided this is something I just need to quit doing PERIOD!

I cannot give up being funny, it is my best asset; maybe being crude, but then I would not be funny; then I thought, "What do I eat constantly?" Chocolate & sweets, not unless the girls have one of these do I eat it; fast food, unless I give up a particular place I could not do this one because I know during these 40 days I am going to have to eat out at least once.

So, I am giving up chips. I eat chips 24-7. No lie! If there is an avocado in my fridge or a bottle of Tascosa Hot Sauce, I am eating some chips. Wish me luck!

Once I get good at this, I will be able to give up something that is a little more important. I am also adding more prayer time in, since that is what Jesus did during His 40 days.

Also, I am planning on trying a new church this Sunday & I think JD is ready to put his toe into the water again & go w/us girls. A girl he works w/invited us to her church, New Life International. Actually we were going to go this past weekend, but we got up late. Right now I just ask that everyone pray for us to make up our minds to attend & that JD does go. We love God & want to serve Him, just right now JD has his issues & I feel like we should attend as a family, so neither of us really have been motivated to go. I am ready to get back into it.

So, for now wish me luck on my adventure of Lenthood, I will keep you all posted.


Thursday, February 19, 2009

My Own Testimony of a God Send!

After losing a child (or any loved one) you always think, what is the lesson here? What could God have brought to us through this hurt & pain for? What is His reason everyone keeps telling us about? I think we have found ours. Well, let me back up a bit. After JD & I lost our son we were devastated. We both grieved differently. Me, outward; him, inward. At first I cried & cried & cried. JD was wonderful & supportive. But soon I felt like I was burdening him with my crying, so I stopped & started keeping a journal. However, his inward struggle was far worse than anyone could see. He started having chest pains & could not sleep. He hurt is back & slept on the couch for about two months. He never told his doctor what we had been through, so his doctor just put him on blood pressure medication & a couple of other meds. I wanted to talk about our loss, he didn't. We started drifting away from each other. On a couple of occasions he would just go off on me & a few hours later act like nothing ever happened. It got to where he would not even remember what he had said to me. One evening he poured syrup on my head (funny now, but not at the time) & after I got into the shower he asked me why I was taking a shower so early for. When it could not get any worse, he told me he wanted out. He could not do it anymore, he had lost his "passion". He did not want to learn the guitar, he did not want to go to church, he did not want to play softball (which is his life) & he did not want to be with me. I was devastated yet again. First I lose my son & now I am going to lose my husband. How does that happen? Long story short, my dad observed a certain day with JD & decided I needed to call his doctor & talk to them about his medication; call his brother & talk to him about possible depression & get him in to see someone. First step, we went to his doctor, after talking with the doctor JD tells him he does not want any antidepressants. What does the doctor do? Put him on "anti-anxiety" medication; a very low dose he tells JD. Next step, to a therapist, who informs JD he is definitely depressed after a series of questions. Then, the doctor tells JD that he is actually on an antidepressant & not anti-anxiety medication. We go see him four times & he helps us along on our journey. We move back in together & decide we need to help other people in the same shape we are in. I had looked into some help earlier with no avail. So, we put our minds together & came up with an idea to start a support group; however, before we could get it started, we get a call from The Hope & Healing Place. I had been there earlier to get counseling without JD & they had some other women who have lost babies & needed support, so would we be interested in coming in & maybe in the future help them out with other couples? WHAT A GOD SEND!?!?! Our first group consisted of JD & myself, along with four other women & our wonderful Group Leader & her assistant. Unfortunately one the women only came to our very first night & we had one who only came two nights. Hopefully, they will come around again. But our first night was so intense. I did not talk at all. I thought I would just talk & talk & talk, but I cried the entire time. & JD, the one who lost his "passion", talked & talked & talked. He was the first one to talk too! He has not gotten all of his passions back, but we are so much closer than ever. Actually, since Nehemiah's first angelversary we have truly began healing properly. October was an intense month for the both of us. There are two other remembrances in October (4th-Walk to Remember & 15th-Candle Light Vigil) & we just did too much last year with it being our first year. Hopefully it will not always be that intense. Anyway, we are hopefully going to start up again. Our Group Leader has informed us that she has three other couples & one dad who is interested in coming. I pray that we are able to reach as many people who need us. Like I said, I could not find anything to meet our needs, but God has brought us all together through our pain to help others in pain.


 

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit. Psalm 34:18

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Tears in Heaven (lyrics)

by Eric Clapton
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you feel the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
cause I know I dont belong here in heaven...

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?
Ill find my way through night and day
cause I know I just cant stay here in heaven...

Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart, have you begging please...begging please

Beyond the door theres peace Im sure
And I know therell be no more tears in heaven...

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you feel the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
cause I know I dont belong here in heaven...

You Are Equipped

Today's Scripture

"…I have equipped you…" Isaiah 45:5

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
Do you feel like you are facing something that is over your head? You may be facing something big today, but that is a sure sign that you have a big destiny. You may feel small, you may not see how it´s going to work out, but you´ve got to remember who you are: a child of The Most High God. You have been created in His image, and you are equipped to overcome.

When times get tough and you don’t see a way out, don't allow yourself to get discouraged. Dig your heels in and have the attitude, "I’ve come too far to stop now. This may be extraordinary, but I know I´m an extraordinary person serving an extraordinary God."

Every morning when you wake up, remind yourself that you are equipped. You are empowered. You are anointed. You are strong. You are talented. You are creative. You have been armed with strength for every battle. There is no challenge that´s too difficult for you. No sickness that can hold you back. Your enemies may be powerful, but your God is all-powerful. Keep standing, keep believing because you are equipped to live in victory in every area of your life!



Tuesday, February 17, 2009

My Personal Struggle

I have struggles, just as many of you out there. I try to look up to God & pray to Him when I am in my darkest hour. I still try to remember to say my morning & evening prayers everyday, along w/my noon ones when I hear of a struggling family, child or a loss of a loved one. My biggest struggle is the loss of my son. Seeing other mothers w/their babies sometimes brings tears to my eyes. I love children & since I was a little girl I had always wanted lots of babies.

I miss my son & what could have been. Nehemiah was due to be born March 8, 2008, but I would have had a scheduled c-section due to my previous two, so he would have come the last week of February.

When other women are pregnant I try to be happy for them, but when they say they weren't trying or didn't want kids it stings. Especially women who do not take care of themselves &/or they already have children they do not care for, it really hurts. I know I have no right to say who should have children & who should not & I try not to judge, but I am human & the green eyed jealous monster comes out & I think the worst.

I do wonder who would he look like & what would he grow up to be?
Would he have been mommy's little boy?
When everyone around is holding their baby w/out a care when I lost mine & will never get to hold him on earth I want to tell them so they know.

I want my son to spend holidays w/& get to celebrate his firsts & I want to hold him while he sleeps & smell his baby breath.
I want to be able to complain about no sleep & smelling like spit up & laugh at him making baby sounds & funny faces while he sleeps.
I know one day in heaven I will get to see my smiling boy & do all the things I am missing out on now. I just want it now!

When I am having a moment, I try to keep it to myself so I don't bring everyone else down around me. Which half of the time, they do not seem to notice me there anyways. They go on about their business & I still hurt. Waiting for some words of comfort or support, maybe a hug. There are people in my own family who have not said anything to me since my loss. I can tell when I am making someone uncomfortable when I bring it up & when people ask me if I will ever try for a third child or for a son. That is always awkward, more for them than for me. I get that look though when I tell them & that makes me feel awkward. I know that not everyone has been through this experience and it is easier to just ignore it, because what can you "REALLY" say to make things better? I do have advice for people who know someone who has lost a baby, HUG THEM!! Tell them you love them!! & ask them if they want to just talk about it. That is what I would like people to do for me. THAT WOULD BE THE NICEST THING EVER!!

I know some people they wonder "when will they get over it?" "when will they just move on?"...well, I cannot answer those questions for you. We take it one day at a time. If we are to get pregnant it will be by the grace of God, as we are not trying at the moment.
But for now I will meet you in my dreams Nehemiah & we will play patty cake & smile at each other until I can be where you are.


Thursday, February 12, 2009

Miracle of the Moment (lyrics)

by Steven Curtis Chapman

It's time for letting go
All of our "if onlies"
Cause we don't have a time machine

And even if we did
Would we really want to use it
Would we really want to go change everything

Cause we are who and where and what we are for now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about

So breathe it in and breathe it out
And listen to your heartbeat
There's a wonder in the here and now
It's right there in front of you
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

There's only One who knows
What's really out there waiting
And all the moments yet to be
And all we need to know
Is He's out there waiting
To Him the future's history

And He has given us a treasure called right now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about

So breathe it in and breathe it out
And listen to your heartbeat
There's a wonder in the here and now
It's right there in front of you
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

And if it brings you tears
Then taste them as they fall
Let them soften your heart

And if it brings you laughter
Then throw your head back
And let it go
Let it go, yeah
You gotta let it go

And listen to your heartbeat

And breathe it in and breathe it out
And listen to your heartbeat
There's a wonder in the here and now
It's right there in front of you
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

And breathe it in and breathe it out
And listen to your heartbeat
There's a wonder in the here and now (here and now)
It's right there in front of you
And I don't want you to miss the miracle
Of the moment

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Tonight's Prayer

Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart,
All you who hope in the Lord. Psalm 31:24


Dear Heavenly Father:
With all of this news of people losing their homes & jobs, I first want to pray to you tonight to give thanks for my many blessings: my family & friends, my home, heat, a car, a job & my health.
I pray for the numerous people with many financial worries, to give You control. I pray they are able to find jobs, & the ones who have not lost their homes yet, I pray they are able to keep their homes & not fall into Satan's traps of stealing, murder or suicide. I pray they find the help they need. I do pray no one in my family loses their jobs due to layoffs.
I pray for the all the little babies fighting to stay in this world. I pray for their parents to continue their faith in You. I pray for Your hands to guide the doctors' hands; keep them steady & nurturing. I pray for the doctors not to give up, even when they feel there is no more to be done, until the very end.
I pray for anyone suffering from an incurable disease. I pray they have peace & do not suffer.
I ask for forgiveness for my sins.
I pray for guidance to be a better Christian, a better wife, mother, sister & daughter.
In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen


Mommy, Please Don't Cry.....

There are No Tears in Heaven.

Written by: Linda Dey Maz
Illustrations by: Laurie Snow Hein


I read this book after a girl from our support group suggested it. I do not want to copy it word for word, but I would like to share somethings from it, along with the scriptures printed in it.

"Mommy, please don't cry...
A beautiful angel carried me here!"

Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Luke 18:15-17
"I met Jesus today, Mommy!
Ha cradled me in His arms.
He made me feel so happy inside."

He will wipe every tear from their eyes.
There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain,
for the old order of things has passed away. Revelations 21:4

"When it's time to rest angels tuck us in,
I never get scared mommy,
there is no darkness here!
Jesus is the light of Heaven."

Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven. Matthew 18:10

"Mommy, please don't cry...
I'll wait right here for you."

Friday, February 06, 2009

Thankful for My Thorns

After receiving this in an email a week before Thanksgiving 2007, I was inspired to write our Thanksgiving prayer.

Sandra felt as low as the heels of her Birkenstocks as she pushed against a November gust and the florist shop door. Her life had been easy, like spring breeze.

Then in the fourth month of her second pregnancy, a minor automobile accident stole her ease. During this Thanksgiving week she would have delivered a son.

She grieved over her loss. As if that weren't enough, her husband's company threatened a transfer. Then her sister, whose holiday visit she coveted, called saying she could not come. What's worse, Sandra's friend infuriated her by suggesting her grief was a God-given path to maturity that would allow her to empathize with others who suffer. "She has no idea what I'm feeling," thought Sandra. "Thanksgiving? Thankful for what?" she wondered. For a careless driver whose truck was hardly scratched when he rear-ended her? For an airbag that saved her life but took the life of her unborn child?

"Good afternoon, can I help you?" The shop clerk's approach startled her. "I ... I need an arrangement," stammered Sandra. "For Thanksgiving? Do you want beautiful but ordinary, or would you like to challenge the day with a customer favorite I call the 'Thanksgiving Special'?" asked the shop clerk. "I'm convinced that flowers tell stories," she continued. "Are you looking for something that conveys 'gratitude' this Thanksgiving?"

"Not exactly!" Sandra blurted out. "In the last five months, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong."

Sandra regretted her outburst, and was surprised when the shop clerk said, "I have the perfect arrangement for you."

Then the door's small bell rang, and the shop clerk said, "Hi, Barbara ... let me get your order." She politely excused herself and walked toward a small workroom, then quickly reappeared, carrying an arrangement of greenery, bows, and long-stemmed thorny roses. Except the ends of the rose stems were neatly snipped. There were no flowers!

"Want this in a box?" asked the clerk. Sandra watched for the customer's response. Was this a joke? Who would want rose stems with no flowers! She waited for laughter, but neither woman laughed. "Yes, please," Barbara replied with an appreciative smile. "You'd think after three years of getting the special, I wouldn't be so moved by its significance, but I can feel it right here, all over again," she said as she gently tapped her chest.

"Uh," stammered Sandra, "that lady just left with, uh ... she just left with no flowers!"

"Right, said the clerk, "I cut off the flowers. That's the Special. I call it the Thanksgiving Thorns Bouquet."

"Oh, come on, you can't tell me someone is willing to pay for that!" exclaimed Sandra.

"Barbara came into the shop three years ago feeling much like you feel today," explained the clerk. "She thought she had very little to be thankful for. She had lost her father to cancer, the family business was failing, her son was into drugs, and she was facing major surgery."

"That same year I had lost my husband," continued the clerk," and for the first time in my life, had just spent the holidays alone. I had no children, no husband, no family nearby, and too great a debt to allow any travel."

"So what did you do?" asked Sandra.

"I learned to be thankful for thorns," answered the clerk quietly.

"I've always thanked God for good things in life and never to ask Him why those good things happened to me, but when bad stuff hit, did I ever ask! It took time for me to learn that dark times are important. I have always enjoyed the 'flowers' of life, but it took thorns to show me the beauty of God's comfort. You know, the Bible says that God comforts us when we're afflicted, and from His consolation we learn to comfort others."

Sandra sucked in her breath as she thought about the very thing her friend had tried to tell her. "I guess the truth is I don't want comfort. I've lost a baby and I'm angry with God."

Just then someone else walked in the shop. "Hey, Phil!" shouted the clerk to the balding, rotund man. "My wife sent me in to get our usual Thanksgiving arrangement ... twelve thorny, long-stemmed stems!" laughed Phil as the clerk handed him a tissue-wrapped arrangement from the refrigerator.

"Those are for your wife?" asked Sandra incredulously. "Do you mind me asking why she wants something that looks like that?"

No ... I'm glad you asked," Phil replied. "Four years ago my wife and I nearly divorced. After forty years, we were in a real mess, but with the Lord's grace and guidance, we slogged through problem after problem. He rescued our marriage. Jenny here (the clerk) told me she kept a vase of rose stems to remind her of what she learned from 'thorny' times, and that was good enough for me. I took home some of those stems. My wife and I decided to label each one for a specific 'problem' and give thanks for what that problem taught us."

As Phil paid the clerk, he said to Sandra, "I highly recommend the Special!"

"I don't know if I can be thankful for the thorns in my life." Sandra said to the clerk. "It's all too ... fresh."

"Well," the clerk replied carefully, "my experience has shown me that thorns make roses more precious. We treasure God's providential care more during trouble than at any other time. Remember, it was a crown of thorns that Jesus wore so we might know His love. Don't resent the thorns."

Tears rolled down Sandra's cheeks. For the first time since the accident, she loosened her grip on resentment. "I'll take those twelve long-stemmed thorns, please," she managed to choke out.

"I hoped you would," said the clerk gently. "I'll have them ready in a minute."

"Thank you. What do I owe you?"

"Nothing. Nothing but a promise to allow God to heal your heart. The first year's arrangement is always on me."

The clerk smiled and handed a card to Sandra. "I'll attach this card to your arrangement, but maybe you would like to read it first." It read:

"My God, I have never thanked You for my thorns.
I have thanked You a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my thorns.
Teach me the glory of the cross I bear;
Teach me the value of my thorns.
Show me that I have climbed closer to You along the path of pain;
Show me that, through my tears, the colors of Your rainbow look much more brilliant."

Praise Him for your roses, thank Him for your thorns. When the going gets tough, the tough seek the Lord!

The Healing Power of Laughter

One of the greatest stress relievers God has given us is laughter. It not only makes us feel better, but it actually releases healing throughout our system. When we laugh, it restores and rejuvenates what the pressures of life have taken out.
 
Proverbs 17:22 puts it like this, "A happy heart is like a good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing." Notice, when we're good-natured and full of joy, taking time to laugh and play, it's like taking a good medicine. That's what helps us to stay healthy. People that laugh regularly are 40% less likely to have a heart attack than people that don't laugh regularly. Laughter triggers the right side of the brain, which helps release creativity and helps us to make better decisions.
There is too much sickness in our world today. Much of it is related to sadness. It's directly related to the fact that we don't smile enough. We live uptight and stressed out.
But even during trials and hard times, God says to us, "I've got a solution. In difficulties, cheer up. In famine, laugh. Keep your joy." You can laugh your way to victory, to better health and to more energy.
God knows the end of the story. He knows the final outcome. The good news is you and I win. God always causes us to triumph. We should have a spring in our step, a smile on our face, joy in our hearts and unshakeable faith. God's plan for our lives is for good and He has the answer to our every question. Knowing this, we can laugh at the days ahead!

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Child Abuse

It has been a little less than year since we have had a deadly child abuse case.

7 year old William Weschke was killed by blunt force trauma to the head. On February 14, 2008 the 29 year old mother & her 19 year old boyfriend told police he had slipped getting out of the tub. He was on life support for two weeks before being pronounced dead, February 27, 2008. Preliminary autopsy showed blunt force trauma to the head. The mother was jailed in connection & the boyfriend was jailed for injury to a child & murder. The mother also has a 6 year old son who was taken away.

February 3, 2009, 3 year old Miracuelos Fuentes was beaten, starved & neglected by his 26 year old mother & her many boyfriends, killed by the most current 18 year old boyfriend on February 3, 2009. She has 8 children, ages 1-11 & a 9th on the way. There are 4 different father's & 2 are in prison. The 8 children had already been taken away for 1 year & given back to the mother after she completed her council sessions & parenting classes.

I could not fathom beating my children until their little hearts stop beating nor starving them to death & would be damned if I let someone other than their father "discipline" them. The part that gets me the most is these two men are obviously too young to be fathers & the women let them do whatever they pleased with them. These two cases are not uncommon & sometimes it is not the boyfriend or stepfather who do the crime. Look at little Quionna Jones, her own father took her life, April 10, 2007. How sick & disgusting!

God gave us these children to love & protect until they go home to Him. Children are gifts. I know at times I say, "I'm going to beat you!", but this puts things in perspective. I would never dare "beat" my children. Nor would I punish them so severely that it were to leave a mark.

I pray for these families that did not stop the known the abuse & the abuser, because I know that they will be judged by God Almighty & I do not want to be standing there as He does. Or maybe I do. I also pray that the little souls are able to rest in peace & for the children who still live on, for they will have to remember this every day, for the rest of their lives, even after we have forgotten them.

Some Signs of Child Abuse

Emotional
* A child who is apathetic (just doesn't care).
* A child who suffers from depression.
* A child who won't take part in play or school activities.
* A child who is often hostile or aggressive.
* A child with a loss of appetite.
* A child who compulsively overeats

Neglect
* Any of the signs above.
* A child who is hungry much of the time.
* A child wandering outdoors unsupervised.
* A child unsuitably dressed for the weather.
* A child who is continually dirty or wearing the same soiled clothes.
* A child who shows up early or stays late at school.

Physical
* Bruises or welts shaped like an object (belt buckle or electric cord).
* Bruises in unusual places (back, eyes, mouth, buttocks, genital areas, thighs, calves).
* Layers of different colored bruises in the same general area.
* "Sock" or "glove" burns on feet or hands or doughnut shaped burns on buttocks (from forcing the child into hot water).
* Small round burns from cigarettes.
* Burns in the shape of an object (iron, fireplace tool, or heater).
* Rope burns on ankles, wrists, or torso.
* Adult sized bite marks.
* Suspicious fractures (doctors and nurses are trained to recognize these).

Sexual
* Withdrawal or anti-social attitude.
* Refusal to undress for physical education or sports.
* Exaggerated interest in sex or "acting out" sex with other children.
* Unusually seductive behavior.
* Fear of intimate contact (hugging or sports)
* Torn, stained, or bloodied clothing.

10 Things To Do Instead of Hurting a Child
1. Take a deep breath. Take a few more. Remember, you are the adult.
2. Close your eyes and imagine you are hearing what your child is about to hear, or
receiving the same punishment.
3. Press your lips together and count to 20.
4. Put the child in a "time-out" chair for a number of minutes. The rule is one minute for
each year of age.
5. Put yourself in a "time-out" chair. Are you really angry at the child or is it something else.
6. Call a friend to talk about it. If you need to, dial 1-800-4-A-CHILD (National Child Abuse
Hotline).
7. If someone can watch the children, go out for a walk.
8. Take a hot bath or splash cold water on your face.
9. Turn on some music. Sing along if you want.
10. Pick up a pencil and write down a list of helpful words, not words that will hurt. Save
the list. Use these words.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Tonight's Prayer

And behold, I am coming quickly & My reward is with Me to give to every one according to his work.
I am the Alpha & the Omega, the Beginning & the End, the First & the Last.
Blessed are those who do His commandments, that they may have the right to the tree of life & may enter through the gates into the city.
Revelation 22:12-14

Dear Heavenly Father:
I come to You this day to thank You for my many blessings. I thank You for my opportunity to live in the land of the free & to be able to worship You & for the troops who help keep it that way.
I pray for these many sick children in the blogs I have been reading lately & pray that their parents continue with their faith in You. I also pray for continued guidance in the parents who have already lost their child. Give them the strength to go another day & know that their child is now free of illness & suffering with You now.
I pray that I am able to come up with the words to inspire & testify to Your truth so they may know You & want to come to You. Not only in a time of need, but in times of good as well.
We forget sometimes that You are the One in control & depend on ourselves too much to let You have control. I pray that anyone who has something they need to let go, that they put it in Your hands. Your hands that bare scars from the nails that held You to the cross when You died for our sins.
You are Almighty & You are the Alpha & Omega!
I love You Lord & only wish to praise You.
In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen



Just Venting

Sometimes I hear something that has nothing to do with me whatsoever & I get so mad I want to comment. But should I really or mind my own business?

I know a girl who complains about her step-children & having to take care of them. Boo hoo!
"Why does my husband have to go get them when they are sick or misbehaving at school?", "Their mom asked us to help out with a medical bill, she gets child support!"....blah blah blah
Children have no choice who their parents are going to be, but you have a choice to have children. So, maybe you should think about it before becoming a parent or step-parent. If the shoe was on the other foot, you would expect the same help. I am not saying let the ex take advantage, but they need to parent the child the way they would have if they were still together, as much as possible.


Or when the new wife/girlfriend complains about the old wife/girlfriend.
"Can you believe she went out this weekend? She went out the last time we had the kids!". You go out when she has the kids, so what?
"She has a new boyfriend, gaw she moves fast!". Ummm, why do you care, you have her leftovers?


What about ungrateful people? I hear women complain that their moms will not watch their children so they can go party, when their mom's have babysat all day while they went to work. Ummmm, did you forget why you had children?"She has had them all day, so what is a few more hours so I can go to happy hour?". Maybe your mom needs happy hour away from your children.
"My mom expects me to pay her for watching her grandchildren." OK? You would have to pay a daycare.

Or what about people who complain because someone else is gone for the day? I hear it all day long.
"Why is so & so off today, they should be here at work?"
When you want a day off, don't you take it?
"They aren't really sick!"
Is it coming out of your paycheck?
"They went to the bathroom like 25 minutes ago & still hasn't came back". So what!, maybe they have the squirts. Go see if they need help!


And women who choose to be a stay-at-home mom....if I could stay home to clean & do volunteer work, I would!
"The baby cried all day!", so my baby cried all night & then I still had to get up & go in to work.
"I never can get anything done, I only did 4 surveys on MySpace today!" Wow!, that's 1 more than yesterday.

"I need a pedicure & manicure because bathing the baby has taken a toll on my skin!". Wear rubber gloves & keep your feet out of their bath water. I have carpal tunnel syndrome from typing all day & I still have to go home to make dinner.

So what if someone else is doing something your not. Like I ask my 5 year old, "Do you have a tale, then why are you talking?" I get frustrated with the world & sometimes I want to give everyone a time out.

We have to live, work & see each other ever day until our demise, so
we all just need to learn to love each other & well, simply get over it!

Thanks for letting me vent, I do feel better!


Sunday, February 01, 2009

LOVE MUCH!!

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. John 13:34

Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another. Romans 12:10

Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. Romans 13:8


And may the Lord make you increase and abound in love to one another and to all, just as we do to you. 1Thessalonians 3:10

Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous. 1Peter 3:8


Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 1John 4:7-8

I am Blessed this Day

The sun is shining, no one is sick, the girls are playing together nicely (for now) & JD is still asleep. I would say I am truly blessed! The dog even blessed me this morning w/the trash dumped over in the kitchen & poop @ the backdoor.

I got up this morning to read some blogs & discovered that life is short. We need to get together more often, hold each other a little tighter, love everyone unconditionally, make amends w/our enemies, be patient, hold no grudges, be a friend, laugh when we fall, cry when we feel like crying, sing even if we do not sound good, shake hands w/children, smile at a stranger, say hello to people we meet, dance in the rain, play outside till dark, run until our hearts feel like bursting, jump on the bed, read a good book, snuggle w/the one we love, stop to smell the roses, look around instead of down while we walk, pick up trash we see on the ground, drink in the moment......for some of us we only have a moment.

I had a cousin pass away last year after a 2 year battle w/throat cancer. She made her own funeral arrangements; from who would do her service to what music would be sang. Afterward my dad asked if we would rather know when we were going to die or if we would want to die unexpectedly. I am still undecided on this question. I think we should tell everyone now how we feel & that way we will have no regrets, but it would be nice to be able to tell everyone good-bye one last time, I just would not want to suffer. So, my question is, which would you rather choose?
I am heartbroken to learn when a parent outlives their child. And if the child had to suffer an illness before they finally leave is gut wrenching. Some days I am grateful I lost my son the way I did & that my other children are healthy, for I do not think I am a strong enough person to deal w/my child(ren) suffering before they leave.



Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through there resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. 1Peter 1:3